Maybe I Can with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 79: How to plan for the retirement you really want

• Debbie Weiss

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In this episode, I'm chatting with Melissa Moss, a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), about how to plan for the retirement you really want. We're going beyond just the money talk and diving into everything from setting goals and staying healthy to finding purpose and joy in your retirement years. Whether you're just starting to think about retirement or looking to fine-tune your plans, Melissa's got the tips and advice you need. Tune in for a fun and insightful conversation on making your dream retirement a reality!

Melissa Moss:  https://melissamoss.co/

The Remarkable Retirement Event

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities, one sprinkle at a time. If you've ever found yourself asking is this all there is to life, then you're in the right place. I'm Debbie author, speaker, entrepreneur and coach, and every Tuesday I'm here to share a sprinkle of hope and inspiration. Together, we'll uncover the more More joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity, more fun. We'll share stories of transformation, actionable tips and that little nudge you need to take the next step. So let's embark on this journey of discovery and say maybe I can to a life filled with more, ready to find out. Let's get started. The Maybe I Can Show starts now. Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Maybe I Can Podcast.

Speaker 1:

I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and today I am very excited to welcome my guest, melissa Moss, to the show. But before I get started and tell you a little bit about Melissa, I have to make sure to mention something that I'm super excited about. So yesterday started the pre-sale for my new course called Maybe I Can Begin to Change my Life, and it's a six-module course that will take you through a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. You get a printable worksheet, you get lifetime access to everything and if you're that person who's thinking is this it in my life? Or maybe you're at a crossroads, a major life transition, and you don't know where to go from here? I'm going to help you with that. So normally the course is going to be $47, but until January oh my goodness, january, my gosh. We're in June. Until June 16th. Until June 16th, I am giving a massive discount $20 off. So it's only $27 if you purchase by June 16th. So the link will be in the show notes or you can visit my website, debbyrweisscom.

Speaker 1:

Okay so Melissa Moss is a dedicated certified financial planner whose journey began with a life-changing financial gift in her youth. This early experience ignited her passion for financial planning, inspiring her to help others create opportunities for their futures. Through her CFP education, melissa ultimately fell in love with complex financial topics like retirement and income tax planning. In love with complex financial topics like retirement and income tax planning. Melissa's rewarding career is marked by her ability to guide clients through significant life events, ease their financial anxieties and provide clear, actionable plans. She stays at the forefront of her field by continually updating her knowledge through industry news, webinars and training sessions. Her comprehensive M3 system Make More Memories ensures a well-rounded approach to Thank you, balancing future planning with living in the present. Her approach helps clients use their resources wisely, creating lasting memories and enriching their lives today and tomorrow. Through her expertise and heartfelt dedication, melissa Moss empowers her clients to plan for financial security and live their best lives.

Speaker 2:

Melissa welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 1:

So I am going to ask you the same question that I ask all of my guests. Please share with us a time that you went from a defeated I can't attitude to an empowered.

Speaker 2:

maybe I can't mindset an empowered maybe I can't mindset. Oh yes, you mentioned the income tax planning and I think it was actually around that I was studying for my CFP and this just was the module that would never end, like a lot of people in the world might be able to relate to this, but I just was not loving income tax planning. And then suddenly, you know, I just decided, well, let me see, let me get curious about this. How can I shift my experience of income tax planning and what is there for me to get inside of this? And so that shift into curiosity really changed this course work for me from something that was just unbearable and I couldn't handle it to maybe I can actually get through this and maybe I can actually love it. And it's become to me learning this. To me it feels like 3D chess now, so it's a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

Let's nerd out for a minute. In my first profession, I was actually a CPA and of all the different things that I did, income taxes was my favorite thing, which sounds so crazy, I'm sure, to most people, but when you really do get into it, I love what you said about a 3D chess match, because that's really what it is. It's understanding the nuances right and figuring out what moves to make to use them to your advantage legally, of course, of course, of course. So I was honored to meet you, melissa, because you got in touch with me and asked me to be a part of your amazing retirement event, and in a minute I'll ask you to tell people about that. But I'm very curious because you're not retirement age and there are so many different niches that you could be interested in. What is it about retirement that you know got you interested?

Speaker 2:

You know it's, I think, a very important time in someone's life and you know. That aside, I actually really love people of that age group who are retiring and and just getting to shift into a different gear in life. So I love hanging out with. Some of my best friends are are a little older than I am and some of them retired young, some of them retired later, but I just really I think I love the people quite a bit. It starts with that, but it's also such an important time and it's a vulnerable time because you are shifting into self-funding the rest of your life and while that's exciting, it's also a little bit scary and there are a lot of things outside of our control. So I just really have a heart for serving people and I get to marry the people I love working with along with my skill set, and to me it's just a brilliant time to get to do that.

Speaker 1:

I love that, and to me, it's just a brilliant time to get to do that. I love that. Okay, so now tell people about this amazing retirement event of yours, because the thing that I love so much about it is as a certified financial planner, you would think that it was going to be all finances, and that isn't even close.

Speaker 2:

No, no, we're hardly talking about money. Hardly so, it's really so. The Remarkable Retirement Event is really all about lifestyle and quality of life, things that people entering into retirement might be considering or might be faced with. And this is really. It's a series of conversations. You know from the potentially obvious things like health and wellness, because we want to have that for everything we want to do the rest of our lives, and so we're not spending all of our hard-earned money on our medical bills. But it's also around purpose and even some stuff like what do we do with the stuff that the kids don't want? And even some stuff like what do we do with the stuff that the kids don't want, you know.

Speaker 2:

So these are topics that loved ones in my life have faced and I just think they're so important to discuss and to some of them are really, really fun to get into. And then also some pain points. I find myself and my clients were complaining about things like the cost of insurance, and so these are just while it's easy to complain about understanding a little bit more around what we're facing and speaking with experts who might be able to guide us, and that's one of the financial things that we talked about, but, um, but it's just so important to be able to talk about what we might be experiencing in life, as if we're enjoying time with friends playing a card game or having a glass of wine. These are just life, things and life, and our goals and our values, our priorities. This is, I think, what life is really all about, and my dog wants to be part of the show.

Speaker 1:

That's okay. We welcome all dogs. We're a dog-friendly show. Oh good, I'm sorry. I made a big smile when you said about the rising cost of insurance, because that's what I do now. I'm an insurance agent now and auto insurance rates well, both auto and home insurance rates, particularly all around the country, are going up and we're just having a big rate increase and so we're getting people calling yelling at us right now. So I just had a smirk when you said that, because you know I just left that about an hour ago.

Speaker 1:

Yes but it is what's happening. I mean it is. You know, we all know the price of everything is going up, especially over the last few years, and you know insurance is one of them, with all of the the weather related incidents and the price of new cars and used cars and labor. There's a multitude of reasons that it's happening Absolutely, and I believe there's a multiplier effect as well.

Speaker 2:

With all of the inflation it's catching up inside of these policies, exactly. It's not just one thing. You know so it's. And then property taxes is another, but we don't cover that in the summit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so you know, I should have written it down when I looked before, but there was really what was the most interesting, unusual thing that you learned through all these interviews that you've done.

Speaker 2:

You know it was just an honor, I think I've interviewed. I have one scheduled left, so to date I think we've done 37.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2:

Maybe 38. And so so quite quite a few and some of my favorite topics, honestly hormones and menopause was one of them, and so learning about how our hormones can affect everything quality of life and aging and even potentially Alzheimer's or dementia is related to that. And so the earlier we get started on taking care of ourselves and some of these seemingly you know, maybe just nuisance things, they actually might be more than a nuisance. So, paying attention to that and doing what we can do now for longevity that that was really cool to learn about. But also just some mindset things. You know, I love talking to you, debbie, about what you were saying about well, maybe I can, and then some of the other mindset coaches who I just saw myself in what they were sharing about and got to learn more about possibilities, and I really hope that people watching can lean into that as well, because this is a life you know. You might be retired, but retirement is just, it's a stage of life and we still have hopes and dreams and wishes and things that we want.

Speaker 1:

So Until the last few years, it seemed like everything was always about reaching that stage right, and at least in my mind it was and has been. How am I ever going to have enough money for that? Am I ever going to be able to retire? And as I get older and I don't have enough money to retire, it used to scare the life out of me to retire. It used to scare the life out of me.

Speaker 1:

And I think now in the last few years, since I have shifted my mindset to a maybe I can mindset and I've opened up a whole new world of possibilities. I'm no longer afraid anymore because I'm excited. I don't want to stop working. Maybe I don't want to work in insurance until my final days. As a matter of fact, not maybe I don't, but that's okay. I found other passions and no longer feel like and I don't want to say this because I do enjoy my day job I don't want to say I'm counting the days until I was able to stop working in my insurance agency, because I don't feel that way.

Speaker 1:

But I think it's, what are we counting for? We're waiting to retire what? And then we think our life is over. You know, and I think that was kind of not that I was thinking my life was going to be over, but almost like, yeah, now it's just time to sit back, and if you want to just sit back, that's fine, but that doesn't have to be the way it is. You know, I think the people that I see thriving in retirement are those who do continue to learn and explore and learn, you know, maybe, things they didn't have time to. You know, look at, you know, when they were working full time. And I think you're absolutely right it's a it should be an exciting time of life.

Speaker 2:

It is. For a lot of people it's very exciting and I think some people it might. They might have like a momentary hard transition into it and so it's more learning, learning this new lifestyle and what that'll be. And then I've seen people come out a couple months later, a couple years later, and they realize oh, I don't even know how I had time to have a job.

Speaker 1:

So I just met a woman like that just last week and she said I'm busier. I'm busier now than I ever was when I was working full time. Yeah, yeah, it's great, it is absolutely great. So tell me, let me ask you something. In your bio, it says that you received a life-changing financial gift when you were younger. Is that something you're open to discussing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I can share a little bit about that. So when I was younger, so part of my story and how I got into wanting to golf than working and I while I'm building the business and helping our clients. But when I was young I did receive a sum of money and I don't think I knew it at the time. You know I was too young to realize any of this or know what money was. But what he did with with that was really such a smart thing but a loving thing, and so he put that into um, into a plan that would, at college age, generate for me more than enough money to go to school almost anywhere I wanted to go to school, and so that was something that wouldn't have happened without his planning or foresight and it was really a time that allowed me to start my my life off, you know, a little bit ahead of of things.

Speaker 2:

So having that experience and seeing what having that experience and seeing what planning and opportunity can do to money and really multiply it or give purpose to something, then that and it was a legal settlement.

Speaker 2:

You know we don't need to go into the details of that, but but it was ultimately the planning around that and I know not everybody has that particular circumstance happen for them, nor what I want them to do, but it's really in the. I see just the potential for things, even if we do things on a smaller scale, if we just, month by month or year by year, set aside just a little bit for the people we love and care about or something we want to do, or some aspects in our future that we might have a hard time actually seeing happen. It's graduation time and I'll walk around my neighborhood and I'll see class of 2035 or something I'm like. I don't know what that number means. I know. So it's a little bit of faith in the future and that you know that day will come, that number will make sense on a calendar one day.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's crazy to see those year numbers. Oh, my goodness, it's nuts. So have you done any exploration into kind of the? I can't realize, and everyone who's ever listened to me it's very embarrassing, since I was a CPA and I am an insurance agent and I do know I don't want to say all the things, but a lot of things and didn't carry that through in my personal life and I think what I came to realize was it's not just about knowing the practical, it's about learning where this came from. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 2:

I absolutely know what you're talking about. In fact, I think there's a huge difference between the knowing and the belief around money, and they can be completely not in tune with each other. So plenty of people know how to save and invest money and don't do it or aren't able to, or circumstances happen, and there is often the money story that we tell ourselves and that can run the show quite a bit. We may not even realize it, and so I think it does take some inner work sometimes to maybe understand that hey, maybe it's not my intellect that is calling the shots here, but rather something deeper inside of me. The shots here, but rather something deeper inside of me, maybe an emotional response that I'm trying to I don't know buy shoes to not feel that thing. So I have in fact purchased shoes to not feel something.

Speaker 1:

Oh well, who hasn't, yeah, so.

Speaker 2:

so it does happen to all of us, I think at some point. If that does come up for anyone you know, start journaling about it. Write it does happen to all of us, I think, at some point. If that does come up for anyone you know, start journaling about it, write it out, ask yourself questions you know the maybe pretend to be a three-year-old and keep asking yourself why, but why or what's underneath that. So just getting curious about it, I think, can help quite a bit. And going back to think about our money stories of origin, there may be things that we're carrying from our parents or our grandparents and we might not even know. We inherited that belief about money, so it's really important.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, and I think for me that's what happened, realizing oh, what do I equate money with? I equate money with stress, and so it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You know, I could picture my dad sitting there on a Saturday one or two Saturdays a month and hunched over the desk, grumbling, and then was, you didn't want to go near him, the rest of the day because he was pretty unhappy and, yeah, I realized that I had just basically duplicated kind of the same.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to say mistakes, but same attitudes, same mistakes, even though you look at something and you say I'll never do that, I'll never do that, that'll never be me Sometimes, right, but yeah, I'm actually reading Ken Honda's book called Happy Money. He's the number, but Japan's number one bestselling development guru and it's interesting because he talks about how money can represent stress and fear and anxiety. And, on the other hand, right, it can do just the opposite. It can make you feel good, as I'm sure you do make you feel good. Somebody gives you money, but you know that you've helped them in return. Or when you can use money to help other people, whether it's donating, you know donating or whatever it is, and it's like, okay, that's kind of the difference between you know our relationship with money and how we can view it, and it makes a difference. It makes a difference and it's just a different way to look at it than just the practical way, a different way to look at it than just the practical way.

Speaker 2:

I absolutely agree, and it is. Money is an exchange of energy, it's a tool, and you know, to think about giving that's you're giving energy towards something or you've received energy for what you've done for other people. It really is a medium that we can think about like that and it's you know, it is something that people can learn more about and do better for themselves if they want to, or change. We can change our minds about how we think and feel or relate to money. Absolutely All of this is doable and you know so many of us do have money stories. I have a client who was sharing about how her family had a lot of money and then they didn't lose money in the Holocaust, but they lost their ability to make it, and so her money story has been shifted in since that moment and so really learning to break through, and she's learned how to make good money and there's still more there to uncover. So it's sometimes a process for all of us and hopefully we all want to break through, whatever self-limiting belief we may have around that.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, absolutely, and I think it's kind of comforting and it's kind of eye opening to look at it in a different light. So what advice would you have for someone like me who's 60 and is inching closer to retirement but doesn't have enough money?

Speaker 2:

Yes, well, I'm so glad you asked. I think I really like what you're doing and I would get curious, I would get creative. So if you feel like retirement is near and you should be further along, or even if retirement's not near, you just should, we can just let that go and think okay, well, here's where I am. What can I do? How can I make this fun? How can I stack the odds in my favor so that I can play the game to win and win a game I want to win?

Speaker 2:

So I think it's about getting a little curious, thinking outside of the box, in that, if you have any limitations, maybe allow that as a way to challenge your creativity. Sometimes we allow a roadblock to just stop us, when in fact it's an invitation to think more creatively. So I'd say, do that. And it doesn't ever hurt to chat with somebody to say, hey, this is what I've got going on. If you find a trusted advisor, somebody who you think might be able to help you look at your situation and maybe help you see what might be in a blind spot or see a possibility that you haven't yet uncovered for yourself, I mean that's probably worth it as well covered for yourself.

Speaker 1:

I mean, that's probably worth it as well. And let me ask you, because I find that prospect intimidating if I'm someone who doesn't have enough money because I feel like I'm going to be judged Now obviously that's a limiting belief or a hang up that I have how do you look to find what's the best way to find a trusted advisor that you connect with?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a great question, and I must apologize on behalf of my industry. We do that to ourselves because we so many of us, say, well, I won't speak with anyone who doesn't have X, y, z amount to invest. Well, I think that's if you have any friends who can recommend somebody who you feel like, ok, this might be somebody I can trust with this area. That's vulnerable to me and I'd like to see how they can help me. That's one one place to start. But you know, there are many of us out there who don't have huge minimums or are willing to talk with you, even or even fee only financial advisors. I'm not a fee only financial advisor, but there are people who, in exchange for a fee, can give you a plan. And then, like me, we're Main Street advisors. We work with regular, everyday people and it's not about having, you know, some crazy amount of wealth. It's about aligning your resources and your values. And so find someone that connects with you, keep asking. I would say, ask your friends who they trust.

Speaker 1:

Great advice. And, melissa, if people want to find you, please tell everyone where they can.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. The best place to find me right now is melissamossco or at theremarkableretirementeventcom. So come join us at the party over there. And I have I'm on social media as well, but melissamossco will have all the links to all the places where you can find me.

Speaker 1:

So thank you so much, and everybody else, thanks for listening and I'll see you next time. Thanks for spending part of your day with me here on Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities, one sprinkle at a time. It's been great having you and I hope you're leaving with a spark to light up your journey to more. Remember every big change starts with a single maybe. Remember, every big change starts with a single maybe. If you're ready to kickstart that change but not sure where to begin, I've got just the thing for you head over to download my free guide, the one critical step to kickstart change and take that all-important first step. Let's make those maybes into reality, one sprinkle at a time. Catch you you next Tuesday at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific, with more stories, tips and that extra push you might need. I'm Debbie saying goodbye for now, but always remember maybe, just maybe, you can.

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