Maybe I Can with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 83: A Sprinkle of Discipline

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A Sprinkle of Discipline | Maybe I Can! Exploring Possibilities, One Sprinkle at a Time with Debbie Weiss

In this episode of "The Sprinkle Effect" podcast, we dive into the transformative power of discipline and how it can lead to a more fulfilling and successful life. We'll discuss the crucial role that consistency and commitment play in personal growth, and I'll share practical tips for establishing routines that simplify your daily decisions and reduce stress. Learn how accountability and perseverance can help you stay on track, and discover specific strategies for building and maintaining discipline. Whether you're looking to achieve long-term goals or simply improve your daily habits, this episode offers invaluable insights and actionable steps to help you harness the power of discipline. Tune in to take the first step towards a more disciplined and fulfilled life.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities one sprinkle at a time. If you've ever found yourself asking is this all there is to life, then you're in the right place. I'm Debbie author, speaker, entrepreneur and coach, and every Tuesday, I'm here to share a sprinkle of hope and inspiration. Together, we'll uncover the more More joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity, more fun. We'll share stories of transformation, actionable tips and that little nudge you need to take the next step. So let's embark on this journey of discovery and say maybe I can to a life filled with more, ready to find out. Let's get started. The Maybe I Can Show starts now. Hi everyone, I am your host, debbie Weiss, and thank you so much for showing up here to listen to me. I know how many options there are out there for radio shows and podcasts, and so I just want you to know. I really appreciate that you're tuning into this show.

Speaker 1:

Today, our topic is a sprinkle of discipline, but before I get into that, I want to share with you something that's happened to me over the last 24 hours. That kind of relates to discipline and relates to some of the other quote unquote sprinkles that I've talked about over the past several months. So I have a day job, I am an insurance agent and I have a small office for team members besides myself Wonderful, wonderful people. And yesterday we're working and all of a sudden the computer shut down and the phone shut off. Because our computers are linked, our phones are linked to our computers and luckily I do have a resource within the insurance company to call and help us. But nothing was happening. And while this is going on, you know people are calling us and they don't know that we had a shutdown. You know that we can't do anything about it and there's nothing that makes me crazier. Customer service is such a big thing to me and who I am at the core. And so just the stress of knowing people are calling and they're thinking we're not returning their calls if they're able to leave messages and we're not able to help if they have with everything a claim and a car change and all the things.

Speaker 1:

And as time was going on and nothing was getting rectified and nobody was really addressing our problem, my stress level really started to rise and I really just was so angry at the situation. Why wasn't someone hopping on this fast enough? Didn't they understand the severity and the importance of this? And I tried to reach out to every person I could work, every angle that I could possibly think of. At 10 o'clock at night I was on the phone with a manager of mine trying to come up with a solution or a approach to start today with and I thought to myself you know, I'm getting myself so worked up and I'm letting it seep into every aspect of my day, of my night I found myself stress eating. I'm eating some taco chips that my son has that I wouldn't ordinarily eat, and then I'm going to look for more snacks because I'm a stress eater and old habits die hard and the difference is, I'm aware, right.

Speaker 1:

So I stopped for a minute and I realized you know what, deb, you got to practice what you preach, and what I preach is E plus R equals O, which, if you haven't heard it before or you need a refresher E stands for the event, r stands for responsibility and O equals the outcome. So the event was my computers and my phones going down. I had no control over that, I had no control at all over that and I really was not being successful in having control of getting it rectified. But there's the R, how I was responding to it and that in turn equals the outcome. And I realized that, having a plan of attack for sure and I had one going into this morning that is imperative. But other than that, there's nothing that I could do. If I chose my response to be that I was going to ruin the rest of my night, eat until I was sick and then go to sleep angry. You know that's my choice. But in that moment I was able to stop myself, saw what I had been doing all afternoon and kind of got myself in the mindset of what's going to happen this morning when I wake up and it's still not fixed, and for some reason I'm just like you know, I've always got a positive spin. I'm like I just know I'm going to wake up and we're going to go in there and it's going to be fixed. Well, I was wrong, it wasn't fixed. But I was much calmer this morning because I knew that if I went into this day with this same attitude, where was it going to take me and what good was it going to do me? It was only going to aggravate me. Right, I'm the one whose stress level was going through the roof, which wasn't making a difference in the outcome the only outcome it was really affecting was my own personal outcome. Well, it still isn't fixed 100%, but about one o'clock this afternoon we got a temporary fix. So we're back in business, I'm happy to say.

Speaker 1:

But something else with this topic, kind of as I was reflecting on it, but something else with this topic, kind of as I was reflecting on it does tie back to today a sprinkle of discipline. And here's where I see the thread. This was a work thing, right, this is my livelihood. It would have been so easy, if possible, for me to say, oh, screw it, what do I care, and walk away. Why should I keep working at getting it fixed right? Why should I have that discipline to see this through?

Speaker 1:

I have a choice, right, and you might say I don't have a choice, but I really do. In actuality, I couldn't. Maybe I didn't have to care anymore, maybe I was ready to walk away from my job. Right, I have a choice and you have a choice in everything that we do. Even though you don't think that you do, you know, you think to yourself well, I've got to work, I've got to make money, okay, well, do you? Because maybe you could choose not to, maybe you could choose not to work and not make money and see where the chips may fall, you know, and be OK with that.

Speaker 1:

So when we feel like we have no choice, oftentimes we we push through Right. We do it because our why right, my why of. For me, in this case, customer service is number one. I need to make sure my customers are taken care of and that is my why, that is my number one priority. But in actuality, the why is I need to make a living, because I don't want to be homeless and I choose to be able to pay my bills and live in the lifestyle that I'm accustomed to, and so, because of that, that pushes me forward, that fuels me, that gives me that discipline me forward, that fuels me, that gives me that discipline.

Speaker 1:

Let me just backtrack a little bit and read you what Wikipedia says. The definition of discipline is they define it as the self-control that's gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed and the ability to keep working at something that is difficult. And when it comes to our goals in life, we need discipline, right? I mean pretty much no matter. Even if you're all pumped in the beginning to do something and you start off strong, there does usually reach a point where it gets harder and harder and so many people throw in the towel and give up. At that point it really comes down to what's your why? Why are you doing this? Why, why are you doing this? So I'm working in insurance, yes, to help people, and that's absolutely true. It's something that I really really get so much fulfillment from in my job. But if I keep asking myself, well, why? Well, why? The bottom line is so that I make money. And even after that, if I ask myself, well, why do I want to make money? It is to give myself and my family a good life.

Speaker 1:

So in the past, we've talked about changing our limiting beliefs and figuring out our goals and our dreams and an action plan. And we get going and boom, we hit this roadblock. So let me give you another example of the whole why and why it's so important. And it is so important because that's what fuels us. And so when the going gets tough, so to speak, it's helpful to tune into what am I doing this for in the first place? Why did I even make this a goal, this thing that now seems so difficult for me to do?

Speaker 1:

So going back to, well, let's just say the question was in an example why have you decided to start a business? Well, so I can make more money. Why do you decided to start a business? Well, so I can make more money. Why do you want to make more money? So I never need to worry about paying my bills and I can spend money on whatever I want without thinking about it. Why do you need to stop worrying? So I can be relaxed and spend more time with my family. Well, why do you need to be relaxed and spend more time with my family? Well, why do you need to be relaxed and spend more time with your family? Because in the past, there have been times when I've missed out on enjoying them because I was stressed and uptight. I was never really present, because I had too much on my mind. Why do you need to be present? My family is everything to me. Creating memories together, loving each other and being there for one another is all I want. Well, that is the real why. And with whatever your goal is that you're working on, ask yourself why and keep asking until you get to the real answer. And keep asking until you get to the real answer.

Speaker 1:

What I've personally found helpful when I've gone through this exercise. Once I identify my why, I write it down on an index card, or you can also put it in your reminders or your notes, or whatever it is on your phone to pop up every few hours. You could do whatever the heck you can think of to keep it in the forefront of your mind so that when things do get difficult, you're reminded of what the heck you're doing this for in the first place, why you even decided to create this goal. There was a reason. You were committed and you need to stay motivated and be reminded of why you did it in the first place.

Speaker 1:

One of the things when I first had purchased this expensive course one of the first courses that I ever took that kind of got me rolling down this path and this journey of my own personal transformation. One of the things in the course was that the instructor sent you her own journal that she had created and every morning it was a you know, quote, unquote requirement that you fill this thing out. And for me at that point it just looking at this book, this journal, gave me agita. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand the idea. It had prompts in it. I didn't know how to answer, how to respond. It stressed me out, it was overwhelming. But my why really, when it came down to this in my mind, was, in this particular case, I had invested so much money in this course that I thought to myself I did this for a reason.

Speaker 1:

I did this to figure out, really, what else is there for me in this life? That was my question, that was my overall question. And if I wasn't going to put in the work that I trusted this woman said I needed to do, then why was I even doing this in the first place? And so I powered through, and every morning I would open this book up and I would be so stressed. Hold on, you know what I wrote down on a piece of paper.

Speaker 1:

There were certain things that you had to fill out. So, okay, you had to write down what was the main goal that you were working on, what are three actions you will take today to move you in the direction of your goal. Then there were daily affirmations. I had no idea what an affirmation was, so I Googled it, because that stressed me out in itself and like it didn't come with instructions and I just wanted the instructions. I wanted somebody to tell me exactly what to do, but she wouldn't do that. You kind of you know this was your own personal journey. And then three actions you would take to move you closer to other goals that you might have, to other goals that you might have. And I did it Day after day. I did it. I was unsure of what I was supposed to write, I was unsure if everything was realistic, but I did it. And what wound up happening was it turned out to really introduce me. Oh gosh, it took me on such a journey and when I go back and connect the dots, it really was the beginning of getting me here where I am now, 10 years later, as a speaker and an author and a podcast host, like all these things.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if I ever would have discovered if I hadn't stuck with it and I wasn't disciplined enough to do something that I found to be so darn hard. I'll tell you, you know what I'm talking about. Especially when there's so many reasons, so many excuses, it's so easy to say well, you know what, I don't have time this morning to fill this out. I overslept and I need to stop and get. Well, you know what, I don't have time this morning to fill this out. I overslept and I need to stop and get. Well, you might say coffee, but me I got to get my Diet Coke at McDonald's and I have this meeting and, you know, by the time you're done, you've talked yourself out of it today, tomorrow, the next day, and you know, we all know what happens then. Right, then everything just kind of goes to pot and in this case, you know, one of the things that did help me was the accountability of the program knowing that I was going to show up every week, and not that I had to turn in my journal, but the fact that there were going to be other people there talking about their experiences with their journal and I didn't want to be the one who said here's my experience. I didn't fill it out and that was motivating to me, even if my why wasn't enough. That accountability was motivating to me.

Speaker 1:

I have always found having an accountability partner extremely helpful. I think that's why, when it came to diets and weight loss and all that kind of stuff, weight Watchers worked for me, because I needed to go there every week and get weighed by somebody. I didn't like it. I didn't always like it. Sometimes I did, but often I did not like it, but I did it and you know, when Weight Watchers added a kind of like a get out of jail free card and you could go each week and not get weighed, I think that actually was very helpful, because I know that I would not want to go if I knew I had a quote, unquote bad week. And having that get a jail free card allowed me to still go and get all the benefits out of the meeting and knowing that I didn't have to get weighed. But I wouldn't want to use that card week after week after week, right, so it still helped me be accountable when it comes to discipline.

Speaker 1:

If you're having problems, you've got to analyze why, and I think you need to ask yourself what's going on, why you ran into this problem. Why are you not being able to follow through? Is it too time consuming? You know, whatever your goal or your action that you should be taking, is it too time consuming? Is it unrealistic? Is it too difficult? What is stopping me? You have to figure that out, because maybe it is one of those things, and that means that you might have to break it down into smaller mini actions If you and I hate I've got to come up with something different other than weight loss, because weight loss has just been the story of my life. So I'm always thinking about that. You know, either drinking water or food or or exercise.

Speaker 1:

Let me go with writing my memoir. Writing my memoir I okay, so I found it very difficult. I was not a writer. I had writing in this journal was the first writing that I literally ever did since I was out of college. And, okay, I'm going to write a memoir. Fantastic.

Speaker 1:

And I joined a course for first-time authors who wanted to get their stories out there. And before the course started there was modules that you could watch and kind of it got you started and it walked you through a series of exercises and it was really good and I did it. And the exercises, like asked you, they were journal prompts, questions to kind of get you thinking. They helped to clarify you know, are you writing a self-help book or a memoir or a biography? I didn't even know the difference, you know. So gave me a lot of clarity, helped you to start to think about an outline and how that works, and I was very happy with the progress that I was making and I'm like, okay, I'm doing this, I'm doing this. And then one module said, okay, right, like W-R-I-T-E, that's it. No explanation, nothing else. There was nothing else. And after that module, it's basically said don't come back to the course until you've written the whole book.

Speaker 1:

And I was like, are you kidding me? And I started Googling how long do people write? What do you do? Do I do it by word count? I had no idea and I sat down. I said, okay, I'm going to write for 20 minutes. Yeah, that's me taking a big sigh, because five minutes after I started I looked at the clock and said what Five minutes, that's it. And I got to tell you for four of the five minutes.

Speaker 1:

I was just staring at the screen thinking what the heck am I going to write, and I realized I'm never going to be able to write for 20 minutes every day the way I am or where I'm starting from. Right now, I'm a brand newbie. 20 minutes, no way, that's way too overwhelming. And so I realized my goal for me was too difficult. I need to dial it back. So I did. I went back to 10 minutes and said, okay, can you do 10 minutes? And that's where I started. And then I just added increments. And you know what would happen Some days.

Speaker 1:

I would sit down and I would start writing and I would look up and 20 minutes would have gone by, not every day. But once I got into it, that started happening more and more until I actually built up to maybe you know like 50 minutes to an hour at a time. If I hadn't examined that, I would have just said forget it, I can't do this. If my initial goal was 20 minutes, or maybe it said in the course I don't even know where I got the 20 minutes from. I must've heard it read it somewhere and so in my mind oh, this is what you have to do. You have to at least do 20 minutes, otherwise you're never going to do this. But that's not the case, right, for me that wasn't the case. Now it's so easy to say, well, five minutes, five minutes is nothing. You might as well just not do it. But look what happened.

Speaker 1:

Five minutes turned into a memoir, because I stuck with it. I stuck with it. I stuck with it when Gary was diagnosed. Gary, my husband was diagnosed with blood cancer and I wrote pretty much the whole memoir. While he was dying, I brought that darn computer with me to the hospital. I woke up at five o'clock in the morning and wrote.

Speaker 1:

Then, because I was disciplined, I was able to look at my why and I had one of my whys once I started. You know, sometimes your why changes or evolves, or you get other whys, and maybe it's that accountability thing for me too, you know, for me, again, it was having the support of the writers group that I was meeting each week, and I didn't want to be that person once again who wasn't doing the writing, doing the work, so to speak. So what about you? How are you with your discipline? I have a challenge for you. If you choose to accept my challenge for the next 21 days. It was drinking one more glass of water, right, taking a walk one night a week for a certain amount of time.

Speaker 1:

Whatever it is, choose one action, one action, small action, every day that you will do for the next 21 days. Now, if it is something like exercise and you don't exercise, I'm not saying that you have to do something like that every day. So, whichever it is, maybe it's something that you want to incorporate three times a week, maybe it's something you want to incorporate every day If your main goal is to exercise three times a week for 30 minutes, well then you know what. Start 33 times a day for five or 10 minutes. You get the idea. But I want you, over the next 21 days, to establish and reinforce a new habit that contributes to your goal. Commit to doing it, track it and reflect on how it's impacting your progress towards your goal because, no question about it, it's going to make a big difference.

Speaker 1:

So let me end with a quote from George Zlucki. He's a motivational speaker and author and he said commitment is doing the thing you said you would do long after the mood you set it in has left you. Isn't that the truth? You've got this. 21 days, 21 days. Go out there and make it happen.

Speaker 1:

I know you can See you next week and make it happen. I know you can See you next week. Thanks for spending part of your day with me here on. Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities one sprinkle at a time. It's been great having you and I hope you're leaving with a spark to light up your journey. To more Remember every big change starts with a single maybe. To more Remember every big change starts with a single maybe If you're ready to kickstart that change, but not sure where to begin. I've got just the thing for you Head over to download my free guide, the One Critical Step to Kickstart Change and take that all-important first step. Let's make those maybes into reality, one sprinkle at a time. Catch you next Tuesday at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific, with more stories, tips and that extra push you might need. I'm Debbie saying goodbye for now, but always remember maybe, just maybe, you can.

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Debbie Weiss

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