Maybe I Can with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 89: I'm celebrating the one-year anniversary of my memoir!

• Debbie Weiss

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In this special episode, join me as I celebrate the one-year anniversary of my memoir, “On Second Thought…Maybe I Can!” I’ll delve into the journey of writing and publishing this book, sharing the challenges, triumphs, and unexpected moments along the way. I’ll also reflect on how this experience has influenced my writing path, including the creation of my second book. Tune in to hear a chapter from “On Second Thought…Maybe I Can!” and gain insight into the story behind the story. It’s a celebration of milestones and the ongoing adventure of writing.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities, one sprinkle at a time. If you've ever found yourself asking is this all there is to life, then you're in the right place. I'm Debbie author, speaker, entrepreneur and coach, and every Tuesday, I'm here to share a sprinkle of hope and inspiration. Together, we'll uncover the more More joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity, more fun. We'll share stories of transformation, actionable tips and that little nudge you need to take the next step. So let's embark on this journey of discovery and say Maybe I Can to a life filled with more, ready to find out. Let's get started. The Maybe I Can show starts now.

Speaker 1:

Hi and welcome back to the Maybe I Can podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and today is an extra special episode episode episode because it is the anniversary of my memoir being published. My memoir was published on August 9th of 2023. I can't believe that a year has passed and I feel like it deserves a little bit of a celebration, so I hope you will join me for that. I figured I'd give you a little bit of the backstory of how it all happened and how the behind the scenes of the whole writing publishing thing works, and if I don't chat too long, then I figured I'll share with you the short introduction and at the end I will tell you about a very special anniversary promotion that I'm offering. So okay, with that, let's get started.

Speaker 1:

Let me start with the backstory, and not really sure where to begin, but I was at a point in 2022 where I had, you know, kind of come to this realization that we are all capable of changing our lives regardless of our circumstances, something that I didn't realize for the majority of my life until I was in my early 50s. And when I realized that and I knew that I wanted to share my message and my story and the things that I've learned with people, I was trying to figure out well, how do I do that, what's the best way to do that, and how am I going to get in front of people? And, of course, it's podcasts, it's speaking, it's social media. There are so many different ways, but what seemed to make the most sense was to write a book, and that book then would kind of help me get out there speaking and on podcasts and all of that.

Speaker 1:

The only problem was I had no idea how to write a book, I had no desire to write a book, and I thought it was kind of like something that was never going to happen. It seemed like a good idea. I would talk about it with my business coach and she would say to me well, just start writing some things that are on your mind. And I thought, what? What things that are on my mind? Where do I even begin? It was just too overwhelming for me and because I in the past had not considered myself creative and I had never done any writing, I really was just thought to myself yeah, it's a great idea in theory, but this is never going to happen.

Speaker 1:

And then I heard on a podcast one I think it was April of 2022. And I wish I could remember exactly what they said. That inspired me. But it talked about freeform journaling just opening up a notebook and start writing whatever's on your mind, and no time limit. You know, some people set a timer just don't write and don't stop for five or 10 or 15 minutes. But they said, even if you don't know what to write, start writing. I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write, and all of a sudden, something will come to you what to write, and all of a sudden, something will come to you. And I tried it and I was amazed how much came flowing out of my brain onto this piece of paper and I was kind of hooked and as I was doing it it was giving me some confidence to say, well, maybe I can write this book. But I still didn't know how. And then I didn't even understand like, how do you get it published? How does that all work? I had no experience, no idea.

Speaker 1:

This was all new to me when another podcast that I don't typically listen to I happened to be listening one day and, sure enough, the woman who was the guest was a writer, slash publisher who helped women get their stories out there into the world, and it was specifically geared towards first-time authors. And when I listened to her I felt like I really connected with her and her message. But I really connected with her and her message and I thought maybe this is a sign, because I know I'm not going to do this on my own. I need help, I need someone who's walked down this path before me, who can share their experiences and their expertise. So I contacted her and we had a Zoom meeting and I loved her and she was about to launch a 12-week course for first-time authors to help them write their books.

Speaker 1:

And I was about to join and right around the same time, gary, my husband, was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer and I thought, oh well, this clearly isn't the time to embark on this new journey of writing a book. And even though I was joining the group or the class, I thought am I really going to do this? I honestly was not believing that I was going to be able to do this and I actually told my therapist. I said I'm embarrassed to say I was thinking of doing this, but now that this has happened with Gary, I know it's out of the question. And she said I disagree with you. This is the perfect time. You need something separate from what's going on with Gary and everything all the upheaval in your family to focus on.

Speaker 1:

So I joined the group and for the first month or so I really struggled with trying to figure out what was the structure of the book going to be out. What was the structure of the book going to be? And there was help along the way, but still it was up to me to figure out what made the most sense for my story and my book. And once I had the outline, everything got a lot easier. I knew that I was just going to tell different stories that hopefully would inspire people. I knew that I wasn't going to then give some kind of commentary or activities. I made a conscious decision that this was just going to be an inspirational book about my story. And you know, that was it.

Speaker 1:

And I remember one day sitting down to write and was really struggling. And when I came to the group the next week, I was talking about it and someone said well, you know, you don't have to write the book in order. Someone said well, you know, you don't have to write the book in order. And I thought what? And I just started laughing how ridiculous I was. Like, well, I'm up to chapter seven and so I have to write chapter seven. And when they said that, to me it seemed so ridiculously obvious that nobody knows the order that I'm writing this in. And it made it so much easier because every day that I sat down at my computer I could take a look at the outline, look at the stories and decide what I felt like writing that day, and that really helped me.

Speaker 1:

When my husband passed away on December 30th 2022, I was three chapters shy of finishing the book, and so what I had done was in the publishing world. What I found out was is that you could use a traditional publisher, which, if you were going to do that, you have to have a literary agent and they're looking for a certain number of social media following and email lists and all this stuff, and really the percentages are so low that a traditional publisher is going to agree to publish your book. So then you can self-publish, meaning everything is there for you to figure out on your own how to upload your book, get it printed, sell it online. You can do that all yourself. However, I knew myself, and writing the book was such an accomplishment that I didn't really feel up, especially what was going on in my life, and I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I know myself and and the whole figuring that whole self-publishing thing out for me was too overwhelming. And so the woman I was working with she was what you call a hybrid publisher, so I have to pay her and she does all that stuff for me. She and her team did the editing for me. They, along with myself, did the book cover design and uploading it so that it's on Amazon and barnesandnoblecom and all the places and walked me step-by-step through the whole entire process, and I'm not going to tell you it was cheap, because it wasn't, but if I wanted to get my book out there, I knew that that's what I needed to do, and so that's what I did. I knew that that's what I needed to do and so that's what I did.

Speaker 1:

And on August 9th the date that I had decided that it was going to be public and launch I threw myself a party. My boys and I had been through a lot and we needed something to celebrate and I had about 50 or 60 women locally come and I had a cocktail reception and my boys were the emcee and my brother was there and I spoke and then my brother interviewed me and it was just such a wonderful, wonderful time, such a great, great experience. And then, you know, I found out, oh, guess what? People just don't automatically know about you and your book. Now there's the whole other side of marketing and you know that is an ongoing journey and process and of course that has to do with getting out there and getting your message out there and on social media and podcasts and all the places, and that will never end unless I choose, for, you know, the promotion of the book to end. So it's over. I'm holding the book, it's all so exciting.

Speaker 1:

And Lauren, my book lady, had said to me when I first finished my book, maybe even before I finished my book, she said you know, debbie, I see that you're going to write there's something like 20 books. I said 20 books you do know that at the time I was almost 60 years old, right, 20 books. So she said, yes, I don't know what it is, that is the number that I see. And it's so funny because, you know, did she put that in my head, not necessarily the number 20, but after going through the whole experience, which was agonizing and thrilling and terrifying all at the same time, it kind of like gave me a little bit of the bug and already I was on to well, what's my next book? What's my next book going to be? And I kind of then went through that journey, as I was still promoting the book, figuring out what's next, and this passed in the winter of 24. I wrote what's next.

Speaker 1:

It's called the Sprinkle Effect, coming out November 11th, 11-11, 2024. And I'm also working on an accompanying workbook. So both those books will be published on November 11th and I'm very excited about that because this book kind of picks up where my memoir left off. My memoir is inspiring stories, and the next book, the Sprinkle Effect, are more step-by-step instructions, so to speak, of kind of what I've done, principles that I've incorporated into my life over the past 10 or 12 years to kind of transform as I have and as I continue to transform.

Speaker 1:

Since my book was published, I've been on a guest on oh it has to be over 40 or 50 podcasts. I have been on a local Arizona and Utah ABC morning shows. I've been on the Kelly Clarkson show. I've received comments, reviews, emails from people who have read my book, listened to the podcast, heard me on social media. It's overwhelming, it is honestly unimaginable, overwhelming, it is honestly unimaginable. And every time that someone comes up to me, sends me an email, messages me, I am so incredibly grateful and I'm doing it. I'm doing what I set out to do, which is share my story and hopefully inspire you to take a look at your own life and really analyze it and say, okay, is this where I want to be and, if not, what? Where I want to go? All right, so, with that said, I am opening the book and I am going to read you the introduction from my memoir on second thought, maybe I Can.

Speaker 1:

I don't know about you, but I used to hate it when editors of yearbooks would ask you to share your favorite quote. I mean, do kids that age really have a favorite quote? Maybe it's plausible by the time you graduate high school, but it wasn't for me. Was there something wrong with my teenage self? Because I wasn't inspired by some random person's words? I was born in the early 60s, so there was no Google Heck. The only computers that existed back then were huge electronic monsters that took up entire rooms. The word Google hadn't yet been invented. As I got older and my photo was no longer in yearbooks, I thought I was safe, but I was wrong.

Speaker 1:

My nightmare continued with the creation of social media. People would include their favorite quotes in their profiles. Really, again, with this crap, did people live their lives inspired by these words, or was it just for show? I wasn't going to be a phony baloney. Instead, you would always find quote-less profiles whenever you searched my name. But then lightning struck and I finally became a woman with a quote. Have you ever noticed how, once you stop searching in desperation for an answer or an item, it suddenly appears. Life tends to play jokes on us like that.

Speaker 1:

I was sharing the story of my transformational journey and the quote not exactly verbatim came tumbling out of my mouth. Where the heck did that come from? Whatever I said sounded good and quite inspiring, if I did say so myself. Hmm, had I made it up or was it an actual quote uttered by someone else? Now that the dark ages had passed and I had Google by my side, I quickly realized that I couldn't take credit for the words that I had literally transformed my life. The credit belonged to another. Are you sitting on the edge of your seat wondering who it was that uttered the words that changed my life? Are you guessing that it's some inspirational guru, maya Angelou, gandhi, oprah? None of the above.

Speaker 1:

It turns out that it's a quote I had heard over and over again from the time I was a little girl, but had never paused to truly understand the meaning. As a matter of fact, it came from a movie that I had a love-hate relationship with. I hated it because so much of the movie had scenes and characters that scared me to death. It's ironic how a film that gave me nightmares contains the message that changed my life. Forever Ready, here it is.

Speaker 1:

Glinda the Good Witch says you've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself. How? Why had no one ever told me that I had the power to change and steer the direction of my life? No teacher, professor or parent thought that this might be useful information for me to have. Apparently, I thought I didn't have any choice or control in who I was or what I did with my life. I assumed we were all victims of our individual circumstances and our lives played out accordingly. Obviously, I knew we had some choices, but not absolute power. I guess there were signs that revealed themselves along the way, but I was wearing blinders, like a racehorse only focused on the finish line. But wait, other people seem to have been taught this secret. Is this something they were taught in school? If not, maybe their parents taught them? Or the more likely answer was that they possessed special qualities that enabled them to rise above us mere mortals. As I dug a little deeper, it became apparent that they were regular people just like you and me, before they became the inspirational, happy, successful people they are today.

Speaker 1:

Once the cat was out of the bag. My exciting new life journey began. I started making small changes in my daily routine. I learned that goal setting wasn't just something you did in school or at work, but you could actually apply similar techniques to all areas of your life. I expanded my thinking and became open to many things that I had either poo-pooed or uttered. My old favorite expression of I can't.

Speaker 1:

My life slowly began to change. Each day, I would wake up with a renewed sense of energy and excitement, the same feeling you have when you first fall in love, and each day starts with a sense of anticipation. I've got to be honest and tell you that my current everyday concerns were still there, but they didn't seem as onerous as they did before. I felt like I was finally moving my life in the direction that I wanted, one small step at a time. I could no longer blame others or the situations I found myself in. They were not responsible for the direction of my life. With knowledge comes responsibility. I alone hold the power to create whatever I want in life, regardless of the circumstances. Some things are out of our control, but how we react is always in our control. It's empowering when you realize that you have had the power all along. Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start, as Julie Andrews sang in one of my favorite movies, the Sound of Music.

Speaker 1:

Okay, don't get nervous, I'm not going to give you a year-by-year synopsis of my life story. After all, my goal is to inspire you, not put you to sleep. This book will share with you who I was, not put you to sleep. This book will share with you who I was, who I was becoming and who I am still becoming. In sharing this, my goal is to inspire you to dig deep and do some soul searching of your own. Doing so will help you identify the barriers that might be stopping you from living life on your own terms. My stories will highlight why and how I perceive myself and the world around me.

Speaker 1:

You see, we all have a set of core beliefs which are formed by the age of seven. These beliefs are lurking in our subconscious minds and are partially responsible for how we think today. These are assumptions or perceptions that we have about ourselves that help to form our identity. They're often negative, inaccurate and hold you back from achieving your potential. They could come from your peers, teachers, parents or others you encounter, your experiences, education and family beliefs can also play a part in forming these assumptions also play a part in forming these assumptions. Pretty much anything and everything that has ever happened to you in your life contributes to those core values and thoughts.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't mean that everyone set out to cause you harm with what they said or did. Chances are, those who caused you to internalize these negative opinions about yourself had no idea what their actions or comments were doing to you. It's ironic because the more I explore my own limiting beliefs from my past, my mind turns to my own children. Oh no, what have I said or done to screw them up? It kept me up many nights playing each moment of their lives out in my mind, trying to see where I went wrong until it hit me. I did the best I could at the time. I would never, ever, do anything to maliciously harm my child's psyche in any way.

Speaker 1:

It upsets me to think that I probably have contributed to their own negative opinions in some way. I have to remind myself that I'm not perfect. None of us are. Chances are, there is no one in this world who doesn't grow up with at least a few negative views of themselves. The good news is that once we are aware of what they are and where they came from, which does take some time and energy to figure out we can begin the process of removing them and replacing them with positive, accurate thoughts. Our brains are quite magnificent, highly efficient hard drives that can be rewired.

Speaker 1:

All right, I got to skip because I'm running out, so let's see. Hmm, all right, the other truth took me 50 years or so to uncover. Is that just because I think it doesn't mean that it's true? Who knows why that truth never dawned on me. I wasn't consciously saying to myself I thought it, so it must be true. Nope, I was subconsciously assuming that my thoughts were hard truths. The sense of freedom I discovered when realizing this wasn't reality if I didn't want it to be, was empowering. This meant that all those negative thoughts I had about myself were not necessarily true. All these years, I had been lying to myself. These years I had been lying to myself, skipping again by sharing my stories.

Speaker 1:

My goal is to inspire you to step into your own power. Even if you haven't tapped into it recently, that power is still inside you. It makes no difference if you are young or old, rich or poor, experiencing trauma or not. There is no valid reason for you to not take control of your life and steer it in the direction of your dreams. It won't happen overnight, it's a lifelong practice. But today is the day that practice begins. Let's get started. Let's get started. Okay. Now I'm very excited about this because for one week and this ends on oh gosh, I was going to say April we're in August. This sale ends on August 16th, 2024, so you only have a couple of days left.

Speaker 1:

I am offering an anniversary sale where, for $29, that's including shipping I feel like an infomercial including shipping and handling and tax so just $29, that's it. That's your full cost you get a signed copy of my memoir on Second Thought Maybe I can of my memoir on second thought, maybe I can a signed copy of another book called Heart Whispers, which is a collaborative book of 20 different women Each has a chapter, shares their own inspiring story and one of my stories is in here as well and you get access to my online course. Maybe I Can Begin to Change my Life. The value of all of these things is over $85, and you are going to get it until August 16th for $29. And a signed copy of both these books. I will personally autograph it with your name and the whole deal.

Speaker 1:

Oh my goodness, I can't stand this. I really feel like a little salesman here. So what you need to do is there is a link in the show notes. You can DM me on Instagram at debbierweiss, you can send me an email at debbie, at debbie r weisscom, and I will send you the link. So, with that said, I hope that this podcast, my book, the social media, every single thing that I'm putting out there, I am putting out there for you because my life has changed in so many ways, and you know what? Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 1:

I have had a lot of trauma in my life in the last decade. I watched my husband and my son struggle with mental illness. I became a widow. A lot of things happened in my work life. I'm not saying life is easy, because it's not easy and it's never easy, but I was using that as an excuse. Easy and it's never easy, but I was using that as an excuse.

Speaker 1:

And when I realized what I was doing and that it really was all about a mindset shift, everything changed for me. And so since that time, I thought to myself there's got to be other women out there who are just like me out there, who are just like me, who are living just like me, and I didn't even know it. And the only way that I really started to become aware was by listening to regular people just like me on podcasts, who had been where I had been, and they shared their story and their journey and that inspired me to take the steps. Take steps that I didn't know where they were going to lead me, but I kind of you know took leaps of faith. And now here I am talking to you. You just never know, but you won't know unless you get started. So thank you for listening, thank you for being part of this journey over the past year, plus that I've been on it, and I look forward to continuing on this path of self-discovery together.

Speaker 1:

All right, don't forget, it's only good till the 16th of August. Click on the link now and I will see you next week. Thanks for spending part of your day with me here on Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities one sprinkle at a time. It's been great having you and I hope you're leaving with a spark to light up your journey to more. Remember, every big change starts with a single maybe If you're ready to kickstart that change, but not sure where to begin. I've got just the thing for you change, but not sure where to begin. I've got just the thing for you Head over to download my free guide, the One Critical Step to Kickstart Change and take that all-important first step. Let's make those maybes into reality, one sprinkle at a time. Catch you next Tuesday at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific, with more stories, tips and that extra push you might need. I'm Debbie saying goodbye for now, but always remember maybe, just maybe, you can.

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Debbie Weiss

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