Maybe I Can with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 94: Shattering Stereotypes with Beverley Glazer

• Debbie Weiss

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What if your life's most transformative moments come when you least expect them? Join us for an inspiring conversation with Beverley Glazer, a master coach and therapist with over 35 years of experience. Beverley's journey is nothing short of remarkable—from her beginnings in the world of art to a profound career in psychology sparked by a desire to make a bigger impact. She opens up about the major business fraud challenge that shook her world and how adopting a "maybe I can" mindset helped her pivot towards new opportunities. Hear how Beverly empowers high-achieving women to shatter their self-imposed barriers and discover renewed purpose, regardless of age.

In a world that often tells women their prime is behind them after 50, we explore how midlife can be a time of rediscovery and empowerment. Beverly shares invaluable insights into breaking free from the societal pressures that attempt to diminish women's contributions as they age. We delve into the importance of recognizing one's self-worth and potential, regardless of life's stage. Finally, get practical tips on sparking change in your own life through small, actionable steps. Sometimes it starts with just one "Maybe." 

Tune in next Tuesday at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific for more stories that inspire and practical advice that you can apply to your own journey. And remember, maybe, just maybe, you can.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities, one sprinkle at a time. If you've ever found yourself asking is this all there is to life, then you're in the right place. I'm Debbie author, speaker, entrepreneur and coach, and every Tuesday I'm here to share a sprinkle of hope and inspiration. Together, we'll uncover the more of hope and inspiration. Together we'll uncover the more More joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity, more fun. We'll share stories of transformation, actionable tips and that little nudge you need to take the next step. So let's embark on this journey of discovery and say maybe I can to a life filled with more. Ready to find out, let's get started.

Speaker 1:

The Maybe I Can Show starts now. Well, hello everyone and welcome to the Maybe I Can Podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and today I am joined by our wonderful guest, beverly Glazer. Beverly has over 35 years of experience as a master coach and therapist, guiding high-performing women in midlife and beyond through the complexities of business, families and relationships. Her work involves more than just tools and strategies to navigate life. It's about creating profound transformations by mastering the inner game. She helps women dismantle self-imposed barriers, gain crystal clear vision and step into a life they truly love. No compromises, no settling. Her clients don't just navigate life, they revolutionize it, embracing a new level of fulfillment and success. Wow, that is fantastic. Well, beverly, welcome to the show.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, thank you, debbie. It's a pleasure to be here and as I listen to it, I get inspired because of my wonderful clients, which can be each and every one of you, because what happens is what we have inside of us is so powerful. To do is actually get you to understand that you have the power to bring up all that goodness that's inside of you. And and you know it sounds so woo, woo, it really does when I say it, but it's really the truth. It's really the truth that our mindset is everything and you know, just by what you've been doing with all the work, that you start as a therapist, as you know, there's many, many reinventions that we can go to find our value and once we know what our value is, boom, that's what happens and it's a journey. It really is, because when we start out in life, we are told we have to do things this way and that way and work the other way and follow that yellow brick road, or just to continue to survive. In your case, one thing after another after another, and what happens is we start feeling I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not so many things enough, I don't have time. I don't have time for me. Whatever those things are, they put us down, they shut us out, and often, when women become middle-aged and older, and even when you're high achievers and I'll say particularly high achievers it's like what's next? What's next for me? What is there? I've achieved all this.

Speaker 2:

When I went to school, I wanted to be a doctor I've heard this many times or a lawyer, or this or whatever it is right, and I've achieved it. And I run a company and I was pretty well given it and ran it because it was my dad, whatever it is. I'm thinking, obviously, of a client. But what happens is now I did so much and now I am employing C-suite staff and I call it staff because when you're the owner, you end up being these people but now, what's next for me? They're doing it all, and now I'm supervising, and there's no fun in that, and so it's like what?

Speaker 2:

I can't just sit on the beach, I can do that for a while, but where's my purpose? And then we can also feel it's too late, and it's never too late. But if you feel it's too late, then we start spinning that spiral and so many people will say, well, why aren't you satisfied? You should be satisfied. Look at all you've accomplished. All you've achieved. Sit back, you don't have to do it anymore, right? But there is this drive. I mean, people have said to me why don't you retire, bev? You've had so many years behind you. Are you kidding? I'm just starting.

Speaker 1:

Exactly. Well, bev, let me stop you for a second because before we go into that, I want to talk a little bit about your own story, because the first question that I ask all my guests is tell us about a time when you went from a defeated I can't attitude to an empowered maybe I can mindset. So when did that happen for you personally, wow?

Speaker 2:

Yes, wow, that's what I really have to say. When we hit that yes, what happened for me personally? And I was living in this really la-la land and going to grad school because I was from the arts and I was creative and I wasn't really interested in business or anything else and when I was working with Indigenous communities, working in the art communities, I found that there were so many problems and what I decided was I can do more than this. I really want to help. And so I went back to school and I ended up going. I was in grad school and I was studying psychology and that's where the therapist part comes in and life was great. You know, my husband had a good business, everything was fine. I'm raising my children blah, blah, blah. Life was amazing.

Speaker 2:

And I knew that there was problems in the business. There was a fraud, and my husband went to the bank and he explained it and they said, no worries, we'll deal with it. You know, we'll figure it all out. And surprise, surprise, one day the doorbell rang and a subpoena was placed in my hand. Are you Beverly Glazer? Yes, I am. Thank you very much. And it's like whoa. And what did I do? Okay, what was the subpoena for? Well, the subpoena was they were owed a lot of money in the bank, right, because this was a problem. It was a fraud. They said they'd be working it out. Jerry called them in. Whatever the subpoena was, I had the assets, I had the house and it was a large fraud.

Speaker 2:

And eventually, although I fought it for eight years, I have to tell you, debbie, me knowing nothing ended up learning a lot. But what it really was was when the wife has the assets they will try to figure out they throw a net right To see where is the money. What can I do? It doesn't really matter. Throw a net right and I was just caught in that net. My husband was in shock. He tried to prevent anything from happening to me.

Speaker 2:

But it's very common that assets are put when you have an owner, the wife has the assets. Right, it's common. We had a good marriage. I was okay with that. Right, it's common. We had a good marriage. I was OK with that. But and I didn't even think twice, this wasn't what I was about. Well, ok with that became I had to hire a lawyer. He hired a lawyer as well for himself. We went through this whole process and if anyone has gone through any of this kind of thing.

Speaker 2:

Now I was fighting the Toronto Dominion Bank, which is a huge bank, and I had a bank of lawyers that were against me and I knew nothing, okay, and I knew less than nothing, debbie, I was in grad school, for goodness sake, okay, and so I went crazy and I was going. My husband supported me all the way, although I was ready to kill him in the night many times, okay, but I didn't, and we are still married. And eventually this whole thing ended up nothing. They threw out the case. There was nothing to charge, but many hundreds of thousands of dollars later, crazy, money went down the tubes within eight years and the law firm lost the bank as a client. But whatever it was, it was nothing.

Speaker 2:

But I could have lost my marriage, I could have, you know, everything could have fallen apart. And to go through what I was going, through, holding up the family, my mother was also in crisis. She was dying. I was going back and forth with that. I was wondering how, like I'd given up my business, like what do I do right? And through the process, and actually through the encouragement of my husband, thank goodness I continued in school and because I had the arts background.

Speaker 2:

What I also did was I wasn't yet a therapist, but I have to tell you I thought, hey, I could be that online therapist. And I pitched a show on local radio and I read that for five years, which was insane, because if anyone would have told me, okay, that you can do this today, go pitch a show. I wouldn't know where to start. But I literally called the station to the director, whatever, and we, yeah, whatever it was, I wasn't thinking I think I was crazy, I had to be, I was functioning on adrenaline and when everything came down, what I realized as I was working with my clients in the office, that women and that would be throughout, all women, it doesn't matter what cultures okay, we hold up the family, we are strong, we are amazing.

Speaker 2:

And that was my shift for me as a therapist to help other women also see their power. Because each and every woman that I was working with and I work with men too, it doesn't matter but what I was focusing on was really older women. Because, debbie, we are told we are not good enough. Because, debbie, we are told we are not good enough, and we're also in corporate environment. They say and there are many levels of where a woman's place should be and they say after 50, you're going downhill.

Speaker 2:

And how horrible is that To have a culture saying that you're done, you know you're done. And we often carry this mindset. It's like if we live for our husbands, if we live for our children, if we live for okay, we're also individuals and we have to feel we have value. And that's where, through coaching, which is not therapy, as I said, sometimes I'm a coach, sometimes I'm a therapist. That's how I work with the type of work I do with my clients to literally change their mindset, which starts from here and it's who are you? And people say, well, I don't know. You know, I'm a mother, I'm a business person. That's not who you are, that's what you do.

Speaker 1:

You know, I have to stop you because I've got to tell you. That's one of the things that was kind of one of my own realizations after I turned 50. I have all these roles. I do own a small insurance agency, so I'm an employer, I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I'm a caregiver, all of the things. And it was kind of this realization of, yeah, but who am I as an individual? And I agree with you, I don't really even know any women, I don't think, who don't handle it all, and we're always putting everybody else first in front of ourselves. And I agree, I think that and I know that you do too, gosh, we have so much more to give at 50 and 60 and 70 than we did at 20, 30, and 40, right?

Speaker 2:

For sure, and that we also have to see that we are evolving and there's not a stop. There really isn't. You can enjoy retirement, whatever that is. I'd like to really say whatever that is. Whatever works for you doesn't mean you have to go go to work per se, but you do need a purpose, you need a reason to get up in the morning. And if you're volunteering and it's good for you, that's wonderful. But if it's not, and if you want more, you're the one that has to feel I'm capable, I'm ready for more.

Speaker 2:

And what also was a motivator for me to work with women? That my mother, back in the day she was a McGill graduate when women didn't go to school to you went to school to get married. You know, that was the point to get your MRS right. And and then, once you get married although she met my dad when they were young, but once you do get married, then he was supposed to have the position and she was supposed to do volunteer work, which she did, but she was a social worker, she had that degree and she wore that badge of honor, but she never reached the capacity that she should have Because, although she loved her career, she always felt I should also be volunteering, which she was. She was an amazing volunteer, but did it give her real satisfaction? No, and she did these small social work jobs which I know were way under her pay grade, and it was because she didn't have the confidence.

Speaker 2:

And that's the thing also, when you're out of the job market like, and you say, well, I want to go back, how do I go back? What skills do I have? Well, we have so many skills that aren't paid for. You don't put a price on that, but wow, can we give? And when we understand our value, you can actually achieve it. Like, I see so many women also that come to me and say you know, my kids are now in college. They're going to be going away. I'm going to have that emptiness now. Now what, I've given up my career because I had it, my husband was doing great, and now we're divorced and we're settling the divorce and I have no family now. Now, my kids, you know they don't really need me and all those transitions which hit and they hit women, men somehow. Yeah, ok, you know the kids are at school, that's OK, good for them. Whatever, you know, women get it and we're a sisterhood sisterhood.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more because I think we get our strength and inspiration from each other. I was actually on a meeting earlier today and that's what it was just listening to each other, everybody's successes and difficulties, and we all have so much in common and I think, know, I think that's what your podcast, that's what my podcast is about is inspiring others with our stories, with stories of other people. Because I know that you, you know, let me ask you I was at a point where I thought I wanted more, but I didn't know what the more was. I didn't have that feeling that I was meant to be a social worker but I never did it. I didn't have a feeling I was meant to do anything else. I was working.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't like I was dissatisfied in my work at the time that I felt that way I was married. I mean, it was Do we have the best marriage on the face of the earth? No, but we were happily married and kids and you know. But it was just kind of that tugging but really really not knowing, and I feel like so many people, so many women, just say, well, this is it. That was kind of how I was feeling. So I guess this is it right, this is my life and I should be happy. And what's wrong with me? And I'm happy, but am I fulfilled? You know fulfilled and satisfied are different. Talk about that. How do you see fulfillment? Totally.

Speaker 2:

I see fulfillment as something you have inside of you and, like I mention it all the time, usually to my husband, where a lot of my friends just don't understand me. Friends just don't understand me. It's like why aren't you just happy with what you have and you know what you do? I am, I am extremely happy with it all. Okay, do I want more? I don't even think of more. Okay, I think I don't do anything really for the money. I'm doing everything I do for the love.

Speaker 2:

If I was into it for the money, trust me, I would have gone into law. That's what my lawyer, when I was away for eight years he says you sure you want to go to grad school and be a psychologist. Why don't you go into law? You can work for me with strategy, but that's the thing. You get up in the morning and you feel I have this to do. It's my purpose and we have to find that. And you know, one of the tips that I give is what did you like to do when you were a child? Those things have been squashed and it's like to remember that you used to like to write, that you used to like to maybe play outdoors. When you think of things like that. You're playing outdoors. I can't do that anymore. Well, maybe, yes, maybe you should go out more. Go into nature, find something for yourself. Find it.

Speaker 1:

It's there, it's all within you and it's baby steps. Yeah, I love that advice and I couldn't agree more. I wanted to be a teacher, like that was it. I wanted to play school all the time and I wanted to be the teacher, not the student. I couldn't stand when someone was going to college. I wanted to become a teacher.

Speaker 1:

And my mother, who lived in the era of women, can only be teachers or nurses, and she said you are the first generation that can do anything that you want, like, why would you choose this? Because she, you know, got her degree in teaching and teaching was not for her and that wasn't what she was meant to do, and she wound up getting away from it and so I didn't study teaching. And now, reflecting, thinking to myself for the longest time, I thought well, what am I supposed to do? Go be a teacher at this point, go back to school. And it just didn't seem to make sense to me. But then I realized it doesn't have to be teaching in that form, that traditional form, right, and I think that for me I was just so closed-minded or narrow thinking about it. But maybe what you did as a child, maybe it can be something, just maybe a little bit different than you might be thinking.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, absolutely. And when you're writing a book and speaking, debbie, you're teaching Exactly, exactly, and we just have to find our purpose somewhere and it's there, it's always there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is there. So let's talk for a couple of minutes that we have left about self-sabotaging behavior, because I've got to tell you. My business coach said to me this morning are you self-sabotaging yourself? And I was like what, what do you mean? No, then I started thinking about it when we were talking about it and I thought, oh, maybe I am and I don't even realize. But can you just talk about what it is? And how would we even know if that's a behavior we're engaging in?

Speaker 2:

And how would we even know if that's a behavior we're engaging in? Sure, self-sabotaging is when you want to do it and then you put an obstacle in and you don't even realize you're doing it. But that's where your limiting belief comes in really quickly and you're going to say I can't, or you're going to avoid doing what you really have to do. You want to do it, but you are actually sabotaging your own success. So that's where the belief system comes in I can, and if I believe it, I can. So the belief has to come not from knowing. It has to come from feeling. If I feel I can do it, I won't sabotage myself. It's like when you lost weight, when I felt that I could do it, I did it. But I know how to do it. Just don't eat this stuff, right, that's it. And when you are going back and going on that roller coaster, guess what? You're self-sabotaging, giving yourself all kinds of different excuses, but they're really excuses. The bottom line is you took that, you put it in your mouth, own it.

Speaker 1:

And usually, or at least I can say in my case, and you can tell me if it's in most cases, it's based in fear Of course, of course.

Speaker 2:

And when we face our fear, Debbie, it disappears. It's gone. It's all up here. It becomes larger than life. It's all up here.

Speaker 1:

It becomes larger than life. Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's another whole podcast, because unfortunately, we're coming to the end of our time together, so I'd love for you to share where people can find you, your podcast, your website, all the things, sure.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. You can find me on re-eventimpossiblecom. My podcast is Aging with Purpose and Passion and it's all about stories. It's all about stories of overcoming others, and you're in it too, debbie, with your amazing stories many, many of them of overcoming and when we overcome, when women listen to stories of others, we empower each other through stories. So I'm on Instagram, I'm on LinkedIn, a lot on that and pretty well everywhere. Facebook, my group is Women Over 50 Rock and my name is Beverly Glazer, so just check that out?

Speaker 1:

Yes, please do. Everything will be in the show notes. And, beverly, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it. And to everyone else, I will see you next week, thank you. Thanks for spending part of your day with me here on Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities one sprinkle at a time. It's been great having you and I hope you're leaving with a spark to light up your journey to more. Remember, every big change starts with a single Maybe. If you're ready to kickstart that change but not sure where to begin, I've got just the thing for you. Head over to download my free guide, the one critical step to kickstart change and take that all-important first step. Let's make those maybes into reality, one sprinkle at a time. Catch you next Tuesday at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific, with more stories, tips and that extra push you might need. And that extra push you might need I'm Debbie saying goodbye for now, but always remember maybe, just maybe, you can.

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Debbie Weiss

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