Maybe I Can with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 97: From Burnout to Balance with Aneta Kuzma

• Debbie Weiss

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 In this episode of "The Maybe I Can" podcast, Debbie sits down with Aneta, a dynamic coach, wellness consultant, yoga and meditation teacher, breathwork facilitator, and author, to explore her incredible journey from corporate executive to wellness expert. After experiencing burnout during her successful 25-year career in the banking industry, Aneta embarked on her own transformation and founded the Ardelian Kuzma Group to help high-achieving professionals and entrepreneurs redefine success and design lives they love. Tune in as Aneta shares her insights on overcoming burnout, creating mindful leadership, and living with purpose, passion, and peace—truly living the width, not just the length, of our lives.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Maybe I Can, exploring possibilities, one sprinkle at a time. If you've ever found yourself asking is this all there is to life, then you're in the right place. I'm Debbie author, speaker, entrepreneur and coach, and every Tuesday I'm here to share a sprinkle of hope and inspiration. Together, we'll uncover the more More joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity, more fun. We'll share stories of transformation, actionable tips and that little nudge you need to take the next step. So let's embark on this journey of discovery and say maybe I can to a life filled with more, ready to find out. Let's get started. The Maybe I Can Show starts now.

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, and welcome to the Maybe I Can Podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and thank you for joining me today. I have a wonderful guest that I'm going to introduce in a moment, but first I have to do my little commercial, because I'm almost a month away from launching my newest two books the Sprinkle Effect, a Guide to a Colorful and Fulfilling Life, and its accompanying workbook. And the reason I mention it is because I need you to be part of my launch team. And what does that mean? All that means is a couple of weeks ahead of time. We will electronically send you the books via PDF. I ask you to read them and prepare your honest Google review or Amazon review, and then, when they go live, to post it for me. And when you do that, I'm going to reward you with your choice of gifts. So you get to choose from a few different I think three different sprinkle mugs and if you're on YouTube, I'm going to show you two of them a sprinkle of joy and a sprinkle of belief so cute, I love these things or the physical copy of the workbook. So if you're interested in helping me out I mean, you know you're going to read the books anyway, so don't you want to get a prize? I would? So just click on the link in the show notes to join, or DM me at debbierweiss or send me an email at debbie, at debbie r weisscom. Okay, that's enough of my little infomercial. Now let's get to the good stuff. That's enough of my little infomercial. Now let's get to the good stuff.

Speaker 1:

My guest today is Anita Kuzma, and here is a little bit about Anita. She is a coach, wellness consultant, yoga and meditation teacher, breathwork facilitator, author, podcast host and the founder of the Ardellian Kuzma Group LLC. Wow, all right. Her passion is helping her clients create transformational change. A former bank executive, she now works with high achieving professionals and entrepreneurs to redefine success and design lives they love.

Speaker 1:

As a wellness consultant, she works with organizations and their teams to overcome burnout, create mindful leadership, increase focus, creativity and productivity and achieve optimal health. After a successful 25 years in the corporate world, she found herself burned out and questioning is this it? And boy, I've had that question too. That's where my books came from, so we have a lot in common. So she started her own transformational journey, began a new chapter and founded her coaching and consultant business to help others live the width, not just the length, of their lives. Annetta is the host of the Live the Width of your Life podcast, which I was privileged to be a guest on. She's also the author to the Live the Width of your Life 365 daily meditations on living with purpose, passion and peace, and the contributing author to Brains Magazine. She's written for Thrive Global and posts regularly on her blog newsletter, linkedin and Instagram. Okay, annetta, welcome to the show.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much, Debbie. I'm so excited to be here and to see you again.

Speaker 1:

You too, I'm exhausted just reading your bio, okay.

Speaker 2:

It's funny when we write these bios and you're like, okay, but who is this person? Right? Those are just all words on a page.

Speaker 1:

That is very true. Except I do know firsthand that to get those words it does take a lot of work. So give yourself a little credit you deserve it. So I'm going to start with the same question that I ask all my guests Can you tell us about a time where you went from a defeated I can't attitude to an empowered maybe I can attitude?

Speaker 2:

I love this question so much can attitude. I love this question so much, I would say it was when I finally decided that I was going to hire a coach and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. And I say that because up until that point I knew I didn't want to retire from banking. I knew that it wasn't where I was supposed to be long term, but I had such fears that helped me back about making a change. I was with the same company for 22 years. I was in the same industry for a long time. It's what I knew, it was what was comfortable, even if it was not comfortable being there.

Speaker 2:

And then one day I thought you know what, maybe I can do something different, maybe there is another way, maybe there are some other options out there. And so I'd say, by deciding to explore that, that was the very first step that I needed to take. And often it's just that very first step, that decision to get curious, that really helps unfold the rest. And of course, the story is then I worked with that coach and then I planned what I really wanted to do instead, which was start my own business, and I did. And so almost six years. It'll be six years in January. I started my business, but it really did to start start with that small voice that said maybe I can do something different. And then me reaching out and saying I need some help figuring it out.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, first congratulations.

Speaker 2:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

That's phenomenal. I know how difficult it is. Did you always have that voice? Did you get to a certain point and you just said I'm done, there has to be something else. Can you think was there a defining moment maybe in your career where you're just like okay, I'm done?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think I always knew, I would say, the first inkling that I thought about doing something different was when I was getting my MBA and we had to write a 20-page vision statement for our life. And it was the very first time, I think, that I ever contemplated those questions and really spent so much time in reflection. And it was really hard because it's like what do you mean? Like, what do I really want to do? What do you mean, what is my purpose? Like there were just big questions that I never really thought about, because after graduation I went straight into working, then I got married, then I had kids, then I was getting my MBA, raising kids, like you do all the stuff and there really is no time to sit or reflect. You're barely, you know, have time to just spin all the plates. And so I think that doing that work and that exercise was the first time I thought, huh, maybe there is something different here. And then I made excuses for why the timing wasn't right and the fears were enough to keep me where I was and I got to do really interesting things.

Speaker 2:

I will tell you, I had the best jobs in banking. I had the coolest jobs. I worked on great projects. I worked with wonderful people. I worked for an organization that I really loved. So it wasn't like it was. The situation was bad. I just knew internally that I was designed to help people and I was supposed to do something different. And so, I say, the day where I looked around and there weren't any other positions that seemed interesting to me, I couldn't see the path past. Where I was, there weren't any leaders that I was dying to work with. I got to work with a bunch of amazing people then and my faith was greater than my fear. I thought, you know what, maybe I could do something different. And it felt like the timing was right, and that's sort of how it happened.

Speaker 1:

Did you go all in? I mean, did you quit your job or did you start slowly while you still had the safety of that salary?

Speaker 2:

I was at the bank two years before I left, so I started working and building my plan. I worked with my coach for six months and then I stayed for another two years afterwards, really getting certified, planning what I was going to do, deciding, like, what this looks like and starting to take little steps on it. I was posting an anonymous blog because I wanted to start writing, so I was doing things in a way that didn't interfere with my job and, of course, at the time you do those things, suddenly you're not attached to the outcome. I was still showing up doing a great job. You get promoted at work, you get more responsibility and I was like, okay, god, universe, what is happening here?

Speaker 2:

I thought that I was pretty clear what I wanted and meanwhile. But I think that when you're much more relaxed and you're excited and I was excited doing these new things in the background, on the weekends and the evenings you just start to feel better and you get more excited. And then, when I felt like the timing was right, I had the conversation with my boss, who I adored and I loved working for and stayed on for another four months, just kind of closing things up, wrapping things with a big bow. And then the last day at work was my 22 year anniversary with the company. And then, two days later, my LLC was established and I was ready to go. My husband's like. You don't give yourself any time off, do you? I'm like no.

Speaker 1:

Especially when you're excited, right, I mean, you know, I think that's the difference. When I started my own journey and I thought to myself it's amazing that when you're doing what feels right and excites you, it doesn't feel like work, and so it doesn't matter that you're working on weekends, it doesn't matter that you come home from your day job and work. If you describe it, people would think it sounds like drudgery and how do you do that? But you're rushing kind of to do that because you're excited about it, and I think that's the difference, right? Oh yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2:

I was doing yoga teacher training at the same time as I was doing my executive banking degree and people were like, why are you doing that? That seems so crazy. But I just got such joy and excitement doing something that I was choosing and it felt, yes, it was exhausting, yes, my weekends for nine months I didn't have any but it also just really was, I think, a nod to the universe to say I'm serious, I'm going all in, I'm taking those baby steps, those actions, right now, where I am Exactly Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Going back, I love the fact that in the MBA program and I wouldn't have thought this, that that was that you had to write a 20-page paper on what your vision is.

Speaker 2:

Oh well, dr Boyatzis was my professor and he was one of the authors, with Daniel Coleman, for emotional intelligence, so we had three. Every semester we had classes on emotional intelligence and so we got to go really deep on self, which was really good, and on teams and the organizational impact. So I'm really grateful for for being able to to have that as part of my MBA experience.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. So let's go into the holistic side for a minute. Have you always is that always been something that you were interested in, and did it start with yoga or you know where? I know that you're involved in meditation and breath work and all the things, so where did it begin?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say I started always curious like always the idea of natural eating and that was always something that was very interesting to me and just eating very healthy, and.

Speaker 2:

But then I discovered yoga in my 20s and been practicing it ever since so three decades right and just fell in love with the process, fell in love with the practice, and I started in the 90s when we didn't have yoga studios in every corner, so I did a lot of at-home yoga and books and VHS tapes and then the DVDs and it really was what kept me sane, I think, while trying to raise a family and working.

Speaker 2:

And it was the only time where I was alone by myself was at four in the morning in my kitchen on my floor practicing yoga while everyone was still sleeping, and I really came to treasure that. It was a sacred experience for me, doing it every day and became a spiritual experience. And then, through yoga, discovered breathwork and also meditation and got certified in meditation once I left and started my business, and then also in the breath work the somatic breath work two years ago, which has been an amazing experience as well. There's so much transformation that can happen with controlled breath work and it's such a wonderful practice to be able to regulate our nervous systems on a regular basis.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I had a guest on a month or so ago who talked a lot about breathwork and I have to say I've been curious myself. I've done a certain type and I don't even recall the name and the thing that I found and I'd like to know, just for personally and maybe for our listeners. It's so much to incorporate. You know you have all these different practices and in a day you say to yourself, okay, well, how much time am I supposed to meditate and when am I going to find the time to do the breath work? And I know that you can do breath work. The whole idea is being able to incorporate it when you need it. But you know, I'm guessing that there's also a regular practice of breathwork. That is advantageous. And if you're into yoga, you know all the things. And what am I going to journal? By the time I get to work, it's like time to go to bed.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean you can decide how long you want to do all these things. I do make it a habit to start my day with meditation and breath work always, and and the journaling, and I practice yoga every day. But right before we I came on the show, I actually just sat on my cushion and for three minutes, played a song and did some more activating breath work, because three o'clock in the afternoon, four o'clock, I start to get a little bit more tired. It's I'm up really early and I did that breath work and I just I felt so refreshed, like I'm like wow, three minutes, a great song and just one breath work, control.

Speaker 2:

And you could either use an activating breath to wake up, to be energizing, you could do one which is much slower, many different types, to just calm yourself down and be really relaxed before bed or in the morning. So breathwork is quite amazing and you have your breath with you with all times. It's just a matter of paying attention and and and. Then, of course, there's the longer journeys. You know, what I facilitate and teach are either 30 minutes or an hour, experiences with very curated songs, and it's a journey and you just guide people on a very transformative experience which feels amazing.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure it does, because I can only speak to what I had done in the past and I found that one, the work like it really got you going. It was kind of like a workout in a way, right yeah, and I didn't anticipate that, but I found that every time I did it I came out with some kind of revelation.

Speaker 2:

Oh yes, yes, it's amazing the downloads that you can experience during breathwork sessions.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's quite interesting. But going back to yoga, I have such a love-hate relationship with yoga personally, love-hate relationship with yoga personally, and I always viewed it as I have to have that perfect body that looks good in those darn tight yoga pants and the tight fitting outfits, and it was very and I shouldn't say was it's still I find it very, very intimidating. It's still I find it very, very intimidating and I don't think I'm alone in that, especially with these yoga studios, if you don't look the part, because I feel like there seems in my head to be a standard look to the person who does yoga. And then when I went into those studios, I wasn't really wrong and I found it initially very difficult to not criticize myself for things my body just Can't do for one reason or another. And however, once I got out of my head, I did find that physically, what it did for me was quite amazing, because I have screws and rods in my back and I have fake hips and stuff.

Speaker 1:

So you know I do tend to have some aches and pains from that and my pain management doctors for years said to me you shouldn't be doing this and that all the things that I like to do you need to do yoga and swimming? And I said, well, the problem is I'm not getting in a bathing suit, not to mention it's a huge hassle to have to go to a gym. When do you go with your makeup? Take it off, put it on, whatever, so nope, that's out of the question.

Speaker 1:

And yoga I don't do yoga and that was one of my can'ts that really did turn to. Maybe I can. And personally, unfortunately, I was going three mornings a week at 5.30 when the pandemic hit and I was loving our little 5.30 am group and the pandemic hit and it kind of all ended and it didn't come back. So I'm a dropout that keeps hearing signs that I need to join again. So, with that long-winded personal story, what would you say to those of us that just don't think it's for us because we don't fit the mold, that maybe someone else has the same vision that I do?

Speaker 2:

Gosh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but that was your experience and I think there are so many amazing studios and teachers who are all about inclusivity and body positivity. I know my yoga teachers that I went through their program. They were and so I've seen and I've been to the studios that really feel really good for me.

Speaker 2:

But you know yoga and I think that Western belief that we're supposed to be in Lululemon or athletic clothing and you know that's definitely a Western belief that isn't tied to anything to do with yoga itself and the practice. And so I would say, if you're very uncomfortable, there's so many amazing teachers online and you can practice at home and do it in a way where you feel so good and maybe over time, then you feel more comfortable home and do it in a way where you feel so good and maybe over time, then you feel more comfortable going and finding a studio that is very inclusive and it has people of all sizes. But did you find that when you went to the studio, that people really were the way you expected them to be, or did no?

Speaker 1:

you know it was my own, it was all in my own head. I mean, or did? No, no, it was my own, it was all in my own head. I mean, maybe, maybe more than not, look that way, but it wasn't like anyone was judging me. I mean, you know, it's like anything else, Everyone's worried about what they're doing Exactly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think the big thing was that I noticed, especially because I do have physical limitations, that it was just like anything the difference in an instructor who understood how to differentiate and to give all the options available. So I think it was not being dissuaded just because you went to one class and had that one experience. That means that that's the typical experience. I think you have to search and find where you're comfortable and where you find that right teacher. And in my case I wound up at that 5.30 AM class because I happened to find this instructor through someone's recommendation who did just that the first class. She came over, I told her beforehand what my issues were and she came over and just kind of whispered in my ear an alternative for me to try. That's beautiful and I was like she's my person and I'm going to follow her, even if it's 5.30 in the morning. There you go.

Speaker 2:

That's wonderful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about burnout, because I know that that's something that you feel strongly about and I think so many of us, especially in midlife, experience burnout, whether it's professionally or personally. Did you personally experience burnout?

Speaker 2:

at a certain point I did. I was definitely, and especially knowing as much as I do now. When you're in the middle of it and the thick of it, you just know that you're barely trying to survive, but you don't know exactly what it is. It's a slippery slope and it takes time to get there. But I definitely was in the state of burnout, and I do help my clients come out of burnout, because often when we are in burnout we're not thinking clearly, we are not the best versions of ourselves, and the filter and the bias and what we are telling ourselves is often not a really good, accurate representation of what's happening.

Speaker 2:

So it really is investing on the health, getting people back to a place where they are healthy, where they feel good again, in order to really look at life with a new perspective and then make adjustments and tell people okay, let's take a look. And I will say one of the biggest causes is that people are not sleeping. They are not sleeping. 98% of the population needs to sleep seven to nine hours and the majority of people think that they are somehow in the 2% that don't. And so the first thing I say is how's your sleep? And if we can tackle one thing let's get you like sleeping again, and then your body and your mind gets to recover and suddenly you're able to really address some of the other symptoms too, which makes sense.

Speaker 1:

I think they kind of go hand in hand right when you're in that phase of burnout. You can't sleep because you've got the racing mind. That's right. That's right, Yep, and I'm sure there's a lot of people who don't even recognize that they're burnt out. What? What are the symptoms? What should be people be looking for?

Speaker 2:

If you're struggling getting out of bed in the morning, like you lose your zest for life. You find yourself fatigued, exhausted. Maybe you find yourself struggling with some anxiety, some depression, feeling blue. Maybe it's hard to do things that before you could do. Maybe you're getting sick all the time. Your immune system is compromised, you're not sleeping, as you stated before, and your relationships start to suffer too, because you're not the kindest, nicest, most loving version of yourself when you are in burnout, because you are barely just surviving. So those would be some of the things that I would tell people to look for, and you know there could be other symptoms. You might feel pain. You know there's some other interesting things that go along with burnout too that we're not aware of. But I would say take a look at your sleep, take a look at how you're feeling in the morning, take a look at your thoughts, your emotional regulation, ability to regulate. Those are all some of the indicators.

Speaker 1:

And when you work with someone I mean for those listening who might have been like I was a few years ago, not even understanding what a life coach is, what a wellness coach is like, what, who are these people? But just listening, thinking about how it is so difficult when you're in the thick of it to figure out a way out on your own. And I think that having a coach, someone who has experience in those areas, knowing what to look for, being on the outside, looking in can can offer so much what. Let's just talk briefly about how you approach it.

Speaker 2:

You're coaching Absolutely. So. I got certified in executive coaching, health and wellness and life coaching because I wanted to be able to work with someone with all of their goals, and so, as a coach, it's really important to identify what the goals are that the person wants to work for, and then I personally put together a proposal that says, based on these goals, here's my approach, what we would do, and then this is how long I recommend that we work together. And these are the outcomes and the objectives based on the objectives that you set, the outcomes that we are going to work together for. And then it's really a partnership.

Speaker 2:

So, typically my clients we meet every couple of weeks, every two weeks or so, for about an hour. There's some work, homework, assessments, fun things in between, but it's really a partnership and it's always moving forward. I think with coaching it's different than therapy. We are taking your goals and we are going to move forward. We're going to identify barriers, any mental challenges, limitations, fears, those things too that might get in the way, and create some action plans and start working towards those. So it's a really beautiful partnership and relationship and, like I said, without my own coach, I don't know that I would have had the ability to leave and to plan the way I did.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I completely agree. I've had a business coach for three years now and again I was like do I really need that? Who is this? And, oh my goodness, I can't tell you how I look forward to those weekly meetings, how I look forward to those weekly meetings, and I think just having an accountability buddy and someone who just knows the direction to kind of steer you in is invaluable. So our time together in these 30-minute shows always goes way too quickly and we've just scratched the surface. But please tell the listeners where they can find out more about you.

Speaker 2:

Sure, I would say, if you come to my website, anetakuzmacom A-N-E-T-A-K-U-Z-M-A, you'll find all my links to social media channels. You'll find the ability to link to my podcast, to my book and to any of the programs and services that I offer, and I do offer free coaching consultations. I also offer people the ability to try my meditation and my breath work for free as well, so a lot of opportunities for people to experience it without making a commitment.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, definitely go check out her website everyone. The links are in the show notes. She has so much to offer and, as you heard, annetta has a lifetime of experience and can certainly help. So, annetta, thank you so much for joining me in this quick 30 minutes. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Debbie. Good luck with your book launch. How exciting. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

And everyone else. We will see you. Debbie, good luck with your book launch. How exciting. Thank you, and everyone else. We will see you next week. Same bat channel, same bat time. Take care possibilities, one sprinkle at a time. It's been great having you and I hope you're leaving with a spark to light up your journey to more. Remember every big change starts with a single maybe. If you're ready to kickstart that change but not sure where to begin, I've got just the thing for you Head over to download my free guide, the One Critical Step to Kickstart Change and take that all-important first step. Let's make those maybes into reality, one sprinkle at a time. Catch you next Tuesday at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific, with more stories, tips and that extra push you might need. I'm Debbie saying goodbye for now, but always remember maybe, just maybe, you can.

Speaker 3:

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