Maybe I Can® with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 123: Why Rest is a Superpower

• Debbie Weiss • Episode 123

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In this episode of the Maybe I Can Podcast, I’m talking about something that doesn’t come easy to many of us—giving ourselves permission to rest. After a recent vacation in Punta Cana, I noticed a big shift in myself: I was finally able to unplug and truly relax. Meanwhile, my cousins stayed constantly busy, and it really made me reflect on how deeply rooted hustle culture is in our lives.

As women, especially those juggling so many roles, rest can feel like a luxury we haven’t earned. But I’ve learned that rest isn’t just a break—it’s essential. In this episode, I’m sharing some personal stories, along with practical tips on how to bring more rest into your day-to-day life, without guilt. I’ll walk you through simple, actionable ways to recharge your body, mind, and soul. Plus, I’ve created a reflection worksheet to help you take what you’ve heard and apply it to your own life.

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Speaker 1:

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Maybe I Can podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and thank you so much for joining me today. I truly appreciate it. And today we're going to talk about giving yourself permission to rest. And I bet I became inspired to talk about this today because yesterday I actually just returned from a week-long vacation to Punta Cana with my cousins, where I definitely haven't always and actually I watch the habits of my cousins versus me and I see the difference because they're still plugged into their email, they're still, you know, making sure they're up on their work email. That kind of gets them ahead of the game when they jump back in and I totally get that and there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1:

But I don't want to take a chance of reading something that upsets me or makes my wheels start turning about what I'm going to need to do when I return from that vacation. And so I really embraced true rest, true relaxation, no rushing to get out of bed. The three of them got out of bed probably two hours before I did. Every day I was the last one standing, as they say. They were always waiting for me, but that's okay. They could have gone on without me and they did. They got their coffee and did all those kind of things in the morning and then waited for me for breakfast and to head out to the pool of the beach. You know such tough days. And instead of reading my emails, I read books. And instead of bringing my phone with me everywhere that we went, I left it in the room. I didn't need it for anything. I knew my kids were okay. If, for any reason, it was an emergency, I mean heck, they were all bringing their phones. My kids knew how to get in touch with them. I didn't want to have my face buried in my phone and my email. I really just wanted to enjoy the moment, every moment, and just kind of look around and honestly be so grateful that I was able to take such a trip to a beautiful place with people that I love more than anything. And this definitely hasn't always been the way for me.

Speaker 1:

And I think that for so many of us, unplugging and resting without feeling guilty is very, very difficult, and I think that it's because it's a cultural thing. I mean, we live in that kind of hustle culture. Being busy is great, we are all multitasking and we measure our worth based on how much you can juggle, and I've been right there with each of you. I was proud I wore that multitasking. Look at how much I can handle badge with honor, wanting to add to it wealth. I do this and I volunteer for this and I work here and I give over here and I, you know, whatever doing all the things, and I don't have a minute in my day to relax and I've accomplished so much and I'm always grinding, just grinding 24-7, because if I'm not, that means I'm falling behind, which, of course, means that I'm not successful and that stresses me out. And you know it's this vicious cycle.

Speaker 1:

Our culture rewards overworking and almost to the point of exhaustion. Like you know, wow, look at what you've done, look at how worried you've worked, that you can't even move, you can't even think, and it makes us feel guilty about not grinding. We start to believe that we have to earn our rest after we've actually done enough. We have to do a certain amount, accomplish a certain amount of things before we're allowed to stop and rest, when, in reality, rest is something that you need in order to do anything. Well, I think not to be, you know, sexist, but I think that this idea really hits women harder than it does men because, let's face it, as women we're often managing so many things. We're managing our households and our careers and our children and our caregiving and our scheduling, and we've been conditioned to see downtime as laziness or, quite frankly, being selfish, and I certainly felt that way for so many years of my life. I don't have time to rest, you know, and I felt almost proud of that, I'm ashamed to say. I don't think I realized really intellectually that I was proud of it, but I was because I don't have time to rest, because look at all my responsibility. I am superwoman. I am able to do all the things without taking a break. And eventually, what would happen? Usually I would get sick, because my body and my mind just gave out and said it forced me to take a break. It forced me because I couldn't think straight or I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed and it left me no choice.

Speaker 1:

I think, too, we're also always replaying. You know we have so many to-do lists and I have to say I find that reminders on my phone are very helpful. I was someone who used to always walk around with that really long to-do list and I do it every once in a while, sometimes in the morning, just to get it off my mind. I'll write out a to-do list or the night before, but what I find is that when something crosses my mind, it's so much easier and I don't want to say her name out loud because I didn't turn my phone off, but I say, hey, you know who sent a reminder for tomorrow, you know for whatever. And then once I do that, it's off my mind and I think that's such a great thing because, let's face it, we do have our phones with us 99% of the time, so that when something just crosses your mind, to just be able to get it out there and know that you will be reminded of it whenever you want to be reminded of it is very helpful, and it does help to clear our heads and leave space.

Speaker 1:

Because here's the truth Rest is actually productive. Our hustle culture might not celebrate it, but science, mental health and our own well-being certainly does, because the reality is that when you don't rest, what happens? We become burnt out. Do you have breakthroughs? Have your best thinking when you're burnt out? No, constant busyness doesn't lead to clarity, and exhaustion is not a badge of honor, it's really a warning sign, like it is a flashing red light. Stop whatever you're doing right now and take a break.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that the goal is to stop working hard. Really, it's embracing the idea that slowing down doesn't really mean that you're doing less. It means that you're choosing to do things with intention and really sustainability. Let me give you some real-life examples. Think about athletes. Do they go at it in their practice as hard as they can, day after day after day? No, our bodies and our minds need to rest. We all know that part of physical training is allowing time for our muscles to recover, allowing time for our muscles to recover. So athletes don't train the hardest they can right before a race or a game or anything like that. No, they need to recover. Same thing with people who are creatives. Lin-manuel Miranda had the idea for Hamilton while he was on vacation Not when he's sitting at his desk trying so hard to think about something. No, he was on vacation. And JK Rowling came up with Harry Potter while resting on a delayed train.

Speaker 1:

Einstein is famous for saying I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence and the truth comes to me. He was famous for taking long walks, because he found that when he did get out into nature and clear his mind, that's when things came to him. And even it's true, in nature, trees look bare in the winter, but they're really restoring themselves. Bears hibernate to survive and farmers leave the land fallow to allow nutrients to return. What looks like doing nothing is often preparation for the next big thing.

Speaker 1:

So rest isn't about giving your body a break. It's about clearing all that mental clutter that is in your head. Because when you're constantly on, you know your mind is going your to-do list, your deadline, the things you forgot, what you have to do. You know exactly what I'm talking about here. Those thoughts pile up and it gets loud in there. And how can you possibly be creative or problem-solve when your mind is packed with all that clutter? You can't make decisions or even enjoy what's right in front of you, right. That's why we find it so hard to live in the present moment, because our minds are always going, thinking about the next thing or the thing we forgot, or what you didn't do at work, or who you have to call, or whatever it is, and it's no good.

Speaker 1:

And that's where rest comes in. It creates space, not just in your schedule but, honestly, in your head. That's why I've really tried to adopt this attitude on vacation of really unplugging other than what is absolutely necessary. I never checked in with my office the whole entire week. I didn't really answer any emails. I didn't look at my work emails, I just read books, closed my eyes, looked around enjoying the palm trees and the oh my gosh, that gorgeous blue ocean, with the water I mean with the sun, you know beating down. Oh my gosh, it was so, so beautiful.

Speaker 1:

And when we pause, whatever pausing looks like to you, even if it's closing your eyes for five minutes or taking a walk, it's like pressing that reset button on your brain. That space actually allows your thoughts to settle. It helps you breathe deeper and think clearer and really see what matters. And without that space, every single thing feels urgent thing feels urgent and it just creates like that inner turmoil and that, oh gosh, I can just, I can feel it and I can. I can really notice now how I I don't want to say I rarely feel that, feel that way, but I I don't know, I really notice that noticed that that is not my norm when before? Oh my gosh, 99.9% of the time that's how I felt from the moment that I opened up my eyes. It was what's next? What do I have to do? Where's that list? And I've talked about it before. But that's where creating that morning routine really started, making me become aware of this.

Speaker 1:

Instead of opening up my eyes, grabbing my phone, starting to read my emails and just getting right into it, creating that space from the time I woke up, that I leave myself more than enough time to. For me, you know, it's meditation, it's journaling. Some days, some of the days, I honestly don't have time, but it's not going right to my email, starting to think about what I have in front of me for the day. I create that space of calm and it's a great jumping off point. It doesn't get me all stressed. I also don't watch TV in the morning. I don't listen to the news. I've talked about this before too. Quite frankly, I try I don't watch the news. I really try not to watch the news because it just doesn't serve me well and it just creates more anxiety and more thoughts. And what if? And this is so terrible and all the things and that's not helpful.

Speaker 1:

For me to be productive, for me to be happy and healthy, it makes the difference that morning. It starts my day from, sets me off from rushing. You know it starts, doesn't start me from a place of you know. Open your eyes and boom, I'm off to the races. No, it's calm, I'm easing myself into the day. I'm actually showing up for the minutes that I had first thing in the morning, which reminds me to do that as my day goes on, and I have learned that, you know, it is in those moments of rest that I do find clarity.

Speaker 1:

You know, I have to say, just today, this morning, I was journaling and you know, I've kind of I've just, I guess, gosh, almost six months ago now, I came out with my last book, an accompanying workbook, and I'm thinking what's next? What's next? Because that's who I am, you know, it's like done with one thing, okay, great, that's done Next. And I've just kind of been mulling it over. And this morning I was journaling and I had an idea and I thought and it came out of nowhere, I was not journaling about, what do I want to do next? I actually should look back and see I don't even know what I was writing about and boom, this idea popped into my head and I thought that's it. That's it. Do I want that to be a book? Do I want that to be one of my keynote presentations? Do I just want it to be a podcast topic? And I don't want to say what it is because I haven't made a decision.

Speaker 1:

I am going to sit with the idea, but it didn't come as I was sitting here stressing, gosh, what should I do next? What should I do next? Should I do this, should I do that? No, that's no good. And having that self banter back and forth? No, I was not even thinking about that Nothing. And boom, it popped in and maybe that'll be something that I do, and maybe it won't be. And maybe four days from now, I'll be resting or pausing or journaling or meditating or just relaxing and something else will pop into my head. I mean, I have seen it and I've seen it and I don't. I never understood how doing nothing could be productive. I definitely always felt guilty about that. When we rest, it does. It creates this space for new ideas and better perspective and more patience and, honestly, renewed motivation. I am recording this. On Sunday.

Speaker 1:

I have done a lot of things today work-wise not my day job work-wise, but you know, on contracts and speaking things, and now recording this podcast and something, a little article that I had to write, and I'm not doing it because I feel like I have to. I'm actually enjoying it. And I'm actually enjoying it and I'm motivated to do it because I just had a nice break and it kind of gave me that renewed sense of energy and motivation. All right, so how do we do this without feeling guilty? Because, as I said earlier, resting is accompanied with guilt.

Speaker 1:

When I was just studying for this test that I talked about a few weeks ago a designation that I needed for my job and it was a non-preferred activity the information that I needed to understand and memorize and basically spit back to pass the test was not anything extremely interesting to me at all. It was a lot of dumb facts that I'm never going to use, and I did. I set a study schedule and I stuck to that for the most part. But when it came down to those last few days before the test, you know when you all of a sudden have this feeling of, oh my gosh, the test is almost here and I'm not prepared because I was not doing that well on my practice test and so I need to put in, and I can think about this back in college. Right, I need to put in an all-nighter. Of course I'm not thinking of an all-nighter at 61 years old, that is certainly not happening but at least an all-dayer. And if I stopped, I felt incredibly guilty because time's running out and if I don't pass this test then I'm going to look back on these last few days and think you're so lazy. I can't believe that you didn't do that.

Speaker 1:

But you know when you hit that point and maybe, like me, you've been out of school for quite a long time. But this is, you know, this analogy you get. It doesn't have to just be studying. It can be when you're looking, trying to problem solve or create an idea at work and you're just staring at it, right, and nothing is going in, nothing. You're not comprehending anything. You've basically hit a wall. What is the point? Your body and your mind is telling you enough. This is not productive. Take the rest you need. Come back to it later and you're going to be amazed how much more productive you're going to be.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about 10 ways to incorporate rest into your day or your week. Whatever works for you, let's. Each of us it's different depending upon where we are now. Is it something that you're listening to this and say I don't have any time for rest? This is ridiculous. Then maybe you just want to start with incorporating little dribs and drabs in your week, but maybe you are ready to say every day, I am going to incorporate, make sure to incorporate some type of rest. So here are 10 ideas.

Speaker 1:

Number one schedule a do-nothing break, Block off 15 to 30 minutes in your day with no agenda, however, no phone, no multitasking, just pausing and being. And for me that is. It works for me when I'm taking yogi for a walk and I remind myself no phone, put the phone down. A lot of times I forget and I'm with the phone. And as soon as I'm out there I remind myself oh no, put the phone away, enjoy taking some breaths of fresh air. Look at looking around at what's going on in nature. You know the leaves, the birds, the grants growing now the, you know trees budding, all of that.

Speaker 1:

Number two take a real lunch break. Okay, this for me, oh boy, this is. I need to take my own advice here. I don't do it. I don't when at my office, I eat at my desk and I eat at my desk while I'm doing stuff, and it's really. I shove the food down in five minutes. I'm embarrassed to say, but I do, I don't take a break. It's I think a lot of us do that, stepping away from your desk. I think a lot of us do that Stepping away from your desk your responsibilities. Sit outside, eat slowly, listen to music without checking emails. Okay, I'm committing to that. I'm committing to that. I'm saying this to you right now because I'm not that person. This is difficult for me. So I am telling you right now that one day this week, just one day, I'm starting small. I will do that. I will take a real lunch break, okay. Three say no without explaining. Well, I've gotten better at saying no, but I'm always explaining. I feel like I owe someone an explanation for saying no when in reality, we don't owe anyone an explanation. Just give yourself permission to decline plans or extra commitments. No guilt, no justification. No is a complete sentence.

Speaker 1:

Four practice unfocused time. Let your mind wander without distractions, take a walk with no podcast, lie on a couch, stare out the window and just let your brain breathe. Five try a power nap. Even 10 to 20 minutes of intentional rest can reset your energy and your mood without disrupting your night's sleep. I don't know, I find that hard, hard too. Maybe that's a good thing to do at lunch Walk away, eat my lunch and close my eyes for 10 minutes. Six create a phone-free hour. This is interesting. Pick one hour a day, or in your week again if it's difficult for you, or in your week again, if it's difficult for you. Where your phone goes in a drawer, don't look at it. Let your nervous system reset without the constant alarms and reminders and stimulation.

Speaker 1:

Seven do something slow and soothing Yoga, coloring, journaling, sipping tea without multitasking. The goal isn't to accomplish anything, just to unwind. On vacation I was so intrigued to my cousin who always, you know, enjoyed art and coloring and crafts and all of that On her iPad she has a color by numbers app and that's what she was doing on the beach, you know, and on the plane coming home yesterday she was showing me all these gorgeous pictures that she drew on her iPad. It was, it was amazing and I thought I think I want to look into that because it's different and it looks fun and I don't have to then have like an actual coloring book and crayons with me. Very cool.

Speaker 1:

E end your day with a wind down routine. Give yourself 20 to 30 minutes before bed to ease into sleep. Ditch the screens, dim the lights, let your body know it's time to rest. That's one where I need improvement too. Nine take a weekly pause day. Choose one day or evening each week where you don't plan anything productive and use that time however it looks like to you, to refill your cup. Refill your cup and 10, let yourself rest without earning it. Don't wait until you quote unquote have done enough to rest. Listen to your body, listen to your mind and take a break before burnout hits. Remember, slowing down doesn't mean you're giving up. It means you're giving yourself what you need to keep going. Rest isn't a reward you earn by doing enough. It's a necessary part of growth and healing and progress.

Speaker 1:

In this episode, I've actually created a little reflection worksheet to help you explore what rest looks like for you. It'll actually be included in this week's email, so make sure you're subscribed If you're not, just so you know, every week I do send an email, so if you're not on that list, head over to my website, debbyrweisscom, and make sure to subscribe. I will also make sure to include the link in the show notes. So I hope something in today's episode inspired you in some small way. Keep believing in what's possible and don't forget. Maybe you can. I'll see you next time.

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Debbie Weiss

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