Maybe I Can® with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 130: The Dreams We Leave Behind

• Debbie Weiss • Episode 130

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What if you haven’t outgrown your dreams—just drifted away from them?

In this episode, we explore what happens when we stop dreaming. As we grow older, it’s easy to trade bold aspirations for practical realities. Maybe someone told you your dream was unrealistic. Maybe life just got busy. But here’s the truth: 92% of people never pursue their dreams—and the most common regret at the end of life is not having had the courage to live true to themselves.

We dive into what it means to reconnect with the desires that still matter to you. I share the inspiring story of Julia Child, who didn’t find her passion for French cuisine until 37, and didn’t become a household name until her 50s. Her journey proves that it’s never too late to begin again.

I also share my own transformation—from an insurance office to becoming an author and speaker—and the practical tools that helped me get unstuck, including the "day in the life" visualization and Wheel of Life assessment.

Because clarity isn’t enough—you need belief and action. Like a GPS, you don’t need to see the whole route, just the next turn.

What if it could actually work out? What if you’re not too late? What if everything you need is already within you?

Let’s explore that together.
Connect with me on Instagram @debbierweiss and share your dream—because it's never too late to start pursuing what truly matters.

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Speaker 1:

Hi everyone and welcome back to the Maybe I Can podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and welcome to the show. So today you're actually helping me. You're helping me prepare for a keynote speech that I'm delivering at the end of this week, and I'm working on it now, and what I thought is is that maybe I would share one segment of it with you, and you know, we'll see how it goes. Now, for the first time, I'm actually sharing slides, and so most of you might be listening to this on a podcast. That's fine. You can't see the slides, but maybe shoot over to YouTube because I want to know how this whole slide sharing thing is going, because it's really weird to look at it from my end, but we're going to give it a try.

Speaker 1:

So today's topic is all about dreams and how, you know, somewhere along the way, I think, we stop dreaming. I don't know where that is. It's probably a different place for each of us, and there's some of us who continue to dream. But I'm not talking about dream like, oh, I'm going to win the lottery and then I'm going to do this, this and this. Now, look, I'm not saying you couldn't win the lottery, but what I'm saying is is that you really have no control over when you win. Whether or not you win the lottery, yeah, sure, of course you're not going to win if you don't go out and buy lottery tickets. But even if you do, that doesn't mean that it's moving you closer to your dreams. We have control over what our dreams are and what we do to move closer to them, and so that's what I want to share with you today, and so that's what I want to share with you today.

Speaker 1:

So, as children, think about, think back to your childhood. Right, we all had so many hopes and dreams, and you can't see the slide if you're listening on a podcast. But this is a picture of what my dream was, and the picture is of David Cassidy, who, if you're too young to know who that is that equated to like I don't know Justin Timberlake, or I don't even know who it would be Not Justin Bieber anymore but you know somebody as a young kid, a guy as a young kid that you, you know, loved with all your heart, and you just knew that you were destined to be with that person, and for me it was David Cassidy. So if you ever saw any reruns of the Partridge family, that was the guy of the Partridge family. That was the guy. So my dream was that I was going to marry David and we would live in just the cutest house, you know, with a white picket fence, and we would have two kids, a boy and a girl. Because I'm the oldest child, I always wanted an older brother, hence the boy first, then the girl, and I would go to work each day as a school teacher, because that was my dream. And then I would come home every night and David would serenade me with his I Think I Love you, which was one of the songs that he was famous for Not my favorite, but in this dream it fits. And that was that. Needless to say, that did not happen. I didn't marry David, I didn't become a school teacher. I did have two children, a boy and a boy. Ben, I wouldn't trade you for a Benjamina at all. Very happy with my two boys, but it didn't happen.

Speaker 1:

And as we grow older, somewhere along the way, we lose our dreams, we forget our dreams. Either people are telling us that they're not possible or, you know, we have some kind of setback and we think how dumb it is. We have all these insecurities. It's like, oh gosh, why couldn't we tap into that excitement that we had as kids? You know, someone would come up to you and say what do you want to be when you grow up? And you'd be like, well, I'm going to be a this, and that you can't stop talking about it and you're bubbling over. And then we grow up, and it's a shame, because we should never, ever stop dreaming.

Speaker 1:

If I were to ask you if you're living a life right now that resembles the one that you dreamt of, would you say yes, I am, or no, I'm not? And if your answer is no, I'm not, please don't feel bad. 92% of people never pursue their dreams. 92%, that's crazy. That's crazy. I guess that's why they're called dreams. But it shouldn't be that way, right? Aren't we happiest when we're pursuing things that we dreamt of? That's rhetorical. The answer is yes. So let's do a little exercise together. And if you're driving, then obviously you can't do what I ask, which is close your eyes. But you can. Let's, together, take a couple of deep breaths In through the nose, out through the mouth, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Now, if you are in a spot where you can close your eyes or look down at the floor, please do so. And if you're driving, just picture it with your eyes open, while keeping your eyes on the road.

Speaker 1:

I want you to think back to when you were younger. Maybe you were 6 or 16 or somewhere in between. What did you dream of becoming? Was it something creative, adventurous, bold? Maybe you wanted to travel the world, write a book, open a bakery, be on stage or just live a life that felt free? Now ask yourself this why did you stop dreaming about it? Was it someone told you it wasn't realistic? Was it because life got busy? Or because you started putting everyone else first? Here's the thing Just because you buried the dream doesn't mean it's gone. It's still there, maybe in a different form, but it's there. And no, I'm not asking you to quit your job, sell everything you have and backpack through Europe, of course, unless you want to but I am inviting you to give yourself permission to want more, to want something just for you. If your eyes are closed, you can open them Sometimes in order for us to dream and give ourselves permission to dream.

Speaker 1:

It helps to hear a story about someone else who has done that, and I'm going to share with you a story of a woman that some of you may know those of you who are more in my age bracket but others may not and her name is Julia Child. Julia never grew up dreaming of being a chef. During World War II, she worked for the government in advertising and media, and this is where she met her husband, paul. After the war ended, paul worked for the US Foreign Service Office and he was transferred to Paris. And at the age of 37, julia tried her first French meal and she was blown away by the taste, the appearance, the creativity, everything about it. It unlocked within her a passion that she never had any idea that she had, and she wound up enrolling in La Cordon Bleu cooking school, and at the time most of her classmates were male and younger than she was. But she didn't care, because she loved every minute of what she was doing. Because she loved every minute of what she was doing. And she wound up, along with two other women, writing a cookbook, a very meticulous, detailed cookbook about the art of French cooking. It took over 10 years to write the book and have the book published.

Speaker 1:

At the age of 50, the book was published and at the age of 51, julia premiered her cooking show on public television Because back then there were only three major networks, we didn't get all these channels, so she premiered on public television. There was no food network, none of the things that we're familiar with nowadays and she premiered at 51. No experience on TV, right, and she cooked. She dropped things, she made mistakes, she laughed at herself and people fell in love with her. She then went on to win awards and more cookbooks and she really became the face of what we know today, really the Food Network. I mean those cooking shows. She was the first, as far as I know, gosh. What came next? The Galloping Gourmet I remember watching on TV, which is so funny because if you've been listening to me you know I don't cook. Julia was, like I said, didn't even start until 37, didn't even find the success until her 50s. Sometimes your best chapter doesn't even begin until mid-lives.

Speaker 1:

So why do we stop dreaming? Why do we stop dreaming when maybe we're just hitting our stride at this point in time? We all do it. We need to learn how to stop settling for less than what we want. The number one regret of people who are dying is that they wish they had the courage to live a life true to themselves and not the life others expected. Let that sink in.

Speaker 1:

I don't know about you, but I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize that everything I've done is to make other people happy. I've done it to make other people happy. I pushed my dreams aside because I needed to take care of my family or my disabled parent or you know, I needed to work more. Whatever it is, I'm not saying to ignore your responsibilities, but there's no reason why we can't have it all. We still deserve a life that is true to ourselves, a life that we decide what it looks like, a life that we own. And even maybe, if you can't get the whole pie in the sky, dream right. You have to decide. What is it that I want here and now? I'm not telling you to ditch everything that you've done up until this point. Maybe your dream has nothing to do with a career change. Maybe it's just reigniting an old passion, discovering something new, traveling to exotic places, taking up a new hobby. It doesn't matter what it is, it doesn't have to be so huge. But let yourself dream. We all deserve it. Now.

Speaker 1:

I have to tell you that when I started in this world of personal development and I was in a group coaching program different than the one that I'm launching, because the one that I'm launching is a small group coaching program and so if you haven't gone to my website, debbyrweisscom, to check it out and sign up, make sure you do, because it's going to be starting in a few weeks. But mine is a small group coaching program because I have found that to be most effective. When I'm talking about the one that I was a member of at the time, I think there was like 100 other people, so you didn't really have one-on-one time at all with the leader. But one of the activities when I was in this program that she tasked us with was sitting down and writing down a day in the life, the life that we dream of, and it had to be specific, like from the moment you woke up to the moment you went to bed. What were you wearing, what were you doing, who were you with, where were you living, what were you eating and like do it on a weekday, right, not a weekend. What do you want a regular day to look like? And when I first heard that assignment, I panicked because I realized I had no idea what I want that to look like and I thought what's wrong with me? I must be the only person who doesn't know this, Of course. Then I realized, no, I'm be the only person who doesn't know this, of course. Then I realized, no, I'm not the only person who doesn't realize, who doesn't know this? Because we stopped dreaming. So many of us stopped dreaming, and at the time I really couldn't complete the assignment. It gave me more anxiety than anything else. I have since gone back and completed it and completed it again. And completed it again because I think that it's always evolving, right as we evolve, you know, we develop new dreams, some dreams we've maybe already achieved or we've decided. That's not really my dream anymore. So I highly recommend it. That's not really my dream anymore.

Speaker 1:

No-transcript is answer these three questions Decide what you want to do, be and have. So what do you want to accomplish? And make a list. Not one thing, right? You don't only want to accomplish one thing. I'm sure, regardless of how old you are If you're 85, there's more than one thing you want to accomplish. What do you want to experience and what possessions do you want to acquire? So, for all three of those questions, lists. Lists of all the things that you want to accomplish, experience and possessions you want to acquire, and once you have that in front of you, that kind of really is a description almost of what your dreams are. Right, what are our dreams? Made up of Things we want to do, accomplish and have. I mean, it all makes sense.

Speaker 1:

Here's a second alternative that you might be familiar with. It's called the Wheel of Life. So, again, if you're listening and you're not familiar with this, maybe go head over to YouTube, to my channel, to see the slide here, or Google Wheel of Life actually, and it'll come up. The idea of the Wheel of Life is taking your life and cutting it into different pie pieces, so different areas of your life like career, health, money, friends and family, physical environment, fun, all different things. Once you have that, for each category, assign that category a number on a scale of one to 10, 10 being the best. So where are you right now? We're talking about the stage of life you are in today, where you are with your life today On a scale of one to 10, how happy are you in that particular area of your life? So, let's say, in career, you might be a four. In health, you might be a seven. In significant other, you might be a two and so on.

Speaker 1:

And once you have that all laid out in front of you, you take a look. And now the first thing that I would look at are the lower numbers, right. What are those areas of my life where I'm not where I want to be, where I've got twos, threes, fours and I can look. So, for instance, taking myself, for example, significant other, I'm at a one right. I have no significant other. I'm a widow. I have not dated. It's been two and a half years since my husband passed away. I am not interested in dating and I couldn't care less right now. So right now, even though I said two, it's probably a one. It doesn't matter to me. So I would go to the next category and look for the next lowest number. I could do this again in a year.

Speaker 1:

My answer to that question would be a one or a two, but I might be in a position where that's now where I want to find a partner and that's where I want my life to improve. So, like I said, it's always changing. So take a look and assess Once you have this in front of you, especially for me, since I'm a numbers girl this wheel of life it becomes very clear where I need to focus in. Okay, so let's just say that I wanted to find a significant other. Yes, I need to improve in all different areas of my life in order to reach my dreams. But you know what? We can't do it all at one time. So you start small, start with one thing. So if that's where I want to start significant other, then that's when I set goals around.

Speaker 1:

What will I do this week to try and meet someone? I don't know, and I don't know because I'm not doing it. Maybe, if I'm into online dating, I'll put up a profile. Maybe I'll go to a coffee shop by myself and start up a conversation with a stranger, you know, whatever it is, but now I can start to set. I've got a goal and I can set some small actions, and that's how we start to move forward to our dreams. Now, last week I talked about action and action would be the next step from here. Now, last week I talked about action and action would be the next step from here because so often, if we have dreams, we get stuck there right, Because we plan and we dream and then maybe we fill out a planner and we're journaling and we're listening to podcasts and books and we need a perfect idea and I need to have a completely clear vision and I need to know exactly how am I going to meet that myth?

Speaker 1:

You don't need to know that. All you need to know is what direction you're. You don't have to have, if I know where I am now point A, and now I've learned what my dreams are and I know that's point B where I'm headed I don't need to know how I'm getting from A to B. I just have to start. I just have to start because even if you plan it, you know it's not going to work out as planned. Even if you plan it, you know it's not going to work out as planned.

Speaker 1:

Think of it almost as like a GPS. I started A, I want to go to B. Now what does it do? It says you want this route? Do you want no tolls? Do you want rural roads? Do you want? You know? Whatever all the choices, you want the fastest route and you pick one. And then something happens. Maybe there's traffic, maybe there's this, and then it's like rerouting Do you want me to reroute? There's a quicker route. You want me to reroute. It's like that. Nothing is ever straightforward. You just have to begin, you have to take that first step.

Speaker 1:

But here's the thing. Before you take action, there's one other important point that I want to make you have to believe it's possible. Because if you have some dream and you're telling yourself, okay, let's just say your dream is to climb Mount Everest, and right now you are 35 years old and you can't even climb a hill, and you say to yourself, like that's ever happening? Right, you don't believe it. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, you're going to do nothing because you don't believe it's possible. So, in your mind, why should you waste any time taking action on something that'll never come to fruition? I can't tell you whether you would ever be able to climb Mount Everest, and maybe you wouldn't able to climb Mount Everest and maybe you wouldn't. But, boy, if you start taking action and that's your goal I bet you you're going to be climbing a lot higher and further than you ever imagined possible. If you believe, I remember when I started down this journey and I'm sitting in my insurance office thinking, gosh, I have so much I want to share with people, I want to help them.

Speaker 1:

I have you know all these messages and they're all in my head, but here I am, sitting in my insurance agency and no one's knocking on my door and I'm not on social media and I've never been on a podcast and write a book, not even in my mind, never spoken on a stage Like what, how is this? And I'm 50, I don't know, 50 something years old, like all signs pointed to not a chance. I thought to myself well, that person did it. Why couldn't I? And I believed I took the first step. I couldn't even tell you now what the first step was. Probably joining one of these courses, actually. Duh, that was the first step. It never. Back then, I would never have believed that I would be here talking to you, that I would be giving speeches from big stages, that I had written two books, like it wasn't even a dream. I couldn't even dream that day. All because I believed it was possible.

Speaker 1:

And it's so easy to talk ourselves out of something. What would happen if, instead, we asked ourselves different questions? What if it actually could work out? What if it's not too late, because it's not? What if you already have what you need to begin? If you already have what you need to begin and I am telling you, regardless of all the excuses that might be going around in your head, you do have what you need to begin. You have it Because there's a dream inside you. You just have to tap into that dream, believe it's possible and start taking action. Mic drop Right there. I'm done. You've got this. I want you to DM me at debbierweiss and let me know what your dream is. Let me know what your dream is. I can't thank you enough for being a part of my dream by tuning into my program Until next week. Keep dreaming and keep sprinkling.

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Debbie Weiss

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