Maybe I Can® with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 136: Is Gratitude Just A Buzzword?

• Debbie Weiss • Episode 136

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This episode wasn’t planned. But sometimes, the unscripted moments are the ones that need to be shared most.

After a powerful workshop and a walk with my dog that turned into something way more reflective than expected, I found myself thinking about all the ways I used to roll my eyes at the idea of “gratitude.” I thought it was fluff. Something people said but didn’t really feel.

But something shifted — and I’m sharing that with you in this week’s episode.
 If you’ve ever felt like gratitude was too hard, too forced, or just another thing on your to-do list… I get it.

This is what changed for me. And maybe it’ll meet you right where you are.

👉 Let me know your one small moment of gratitude today in the comments. I’d love to hear it.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to the Maybe I Can podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and thank you so much for tuning in. So I had a whole episode planned for today. As a matter of fact, I recorded it a few days ago and found out last night that something happened and the files were corrupt, and so I needed to rerecord it. And so I was gonna obviously rerecord what I already talked about on the episode. I needed to re-record it, and so I was going to obviously re-record what I already talked about on the episode I planned to air.

Speaker 1:

And literally just now, before I pressed record, I changed my mind, because last night I did a workshop locally, in person, which it's always so, so great to be in person, together in a room, feel the energy, have the members of the audience talk to one another. As you know, we go through some of the exercises and they're workshopping it, and it was great. And the last thing that I briefly touched on I briefly touched on was gratitude, and it's funny because yesterday I was listening to a podcast I can't remember. It's the Chris. I don't know if it's called the Chris Harder Show or he's got another name for it. It's for entrepreneurs, and every episode he starts with saying what he's grateful for, and he's been doing this for a while and, as a matter of fact, it was originally through him that I was introduced to the whole idea of gratitude, and so that's why I'm changing what I was going to talk about. I was going to talk about the day you stopped asking yourself what you want. So that might be next week's episode, but today I just want to take a few minutes with you and talk about the practice of gratitude.

Speaker 1:

When I was first introduced to this concept, to be quite honest, I thought it was ridiculous. I thought it was a complete waste of time. I didn't understand what the point was. How was this going to change my life in some way for the better? You know, what am I going to say Every day? I'm going to say I'm grateful for my kids, I'm grateful for my house and my job, and I am grateful for those things, but I know that. So, whether I'm writing it every day or thinking it in my head every day, what is this possibly going to do? I really thought that the whole idea of gratitude was just some you know, really BS that the personal development industry came up with. And when I heard Chris talk about it. I thought, okay, this is a really nice filler, that sounds good, but does it really translate into changing someone's life? As I said, I thought no way.

Speaker 1:

And then my business coach at the time sent me a gift and it was a gratitude journal and it was super thoughtful and I really appreciated it. But yet it put me in a crummy position because now I had to use it. I couldn't. I knew she was going to ask me. You know what my experience is with the journal? Am I enjoying it? And she was kind enough to think of me, so I had to try it and it was. It annoyed me. It really annoyed me.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, OK, I'll do this, but I don't know what I'm going to say in this journal, and the journal had morning and evening prompts that you were supposed to answer every day. As a matter of fact, I've got it sitting right here, so let me tell you what it was. So in the morning, you would write what was your focus of today, and you know what I just turned to a page, so I'm going to read you literally what I wrote this is on January 30th 2022. Wow, okay, today's focus getting organized and planning out the week, clean clothes, hair and schedule set. I don't know what that means. I guess I had to do laundry and, I don't know, make a hair appointment.

Speaker 1:

Then the next part was an affirmation for today, and on that day I wrote your attitude steers the wheel that determines the course of your life. I like that, and then what you were grateful for. I like that, and then what you were grateful for. Now I'm going to pause there before I read you my answers, because I want to tell you what happened when I started doing this. So when I got to that part, what am I grateful for? Every day I basically wrote the same thing, just like I told you. I wrote my dog, my house, my family, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

For a while I would change it up a little bit, but not really much variation. And then one day I was out walking Yogi, as always, and I hate to admit it, but most of the time I had my head in my phone right. Either I was talking to someone on the phone or I was reading my email as we walked. And that day I picked my head up, away from the phone for a second and I looked up at the sky and I saw just how blue the sky was. How blue the sky was, and it's not that I never appreciated nature, but you know what, on second thought, maybe it was that I didn't really appreciate nature because I never took the time to slow down right, it was always go, go, go to the next thing, to the next thing. And yes, maybe I appreciated nature when I went to the beach in the summer, or I did something, you know, took a walk in the fall, my two favorite times of year. Then I did, but those were isolated incidents.

Speaker 1:

On a daily basis, I paid absolutely zero attention. So it struck me that I happened to notice this blue sky. And so the next morning I got all excited when I was filling out the gratitude journal, because I realized, oh, I've got something else that I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for that beautiful blue sky that I saw yesterday. And what happened is I started noticing things that I never paid attention to before and I never stopped to appreciate it. And so that blue sky, you know, all of a sudden led to oh, what else is going on out here? If I just took my head out of my phone, out of my phone, look at how pretty the trees, look when the breeze blows and how green the grass is and how nice it is.

Speaker 1:

When I go into Walgreens and I see the same woman behind the counter and we chat, we have, you know, certain things that we chat about, and the lady at McDonald's who things that we chat about, and the lady at McDonald's who gives me my Diet Coke every day. Gosh, I am really grateful. I didn't realize all these small wonderful things, these small wonderful moments that actually make up my life. And that's when I realized, oh, my goodness, this actually works, because when you start to be grateful and become aware of all that you have to be grateful for, you're able outlook changes, you go through your day just differently. And then it almost became a game to me, like, oh, what else is there that I'm grateful for that I might not have been paying attention to before? So let me go back to this journal and see what I wrote on January 30th 2022. And see what I wrote on January 30th 2022.

Speaker 1:

I'm grateful for the beautiful winter morning, the cold, calm, fresh air, the internet and colored pens, because I love colored pens. You know those. I don't think I had this actually. Then I think I remember I had different colored pens, individual pens. But since then, I think last Christmas maybe, my friend gave me one of those old Bic four-color pens, if you know what I'm talking about. That has red, blue, black and green where you just press down the color, not separate pens, and I love that darn thing. As a matter of fact, I just had a bunch of them branded with the sprinkle effect in my website on them and I love giving them out to people.

Speaker 1:

Okay, the next prompt in here was what I'm excited about today, and I said feeling like I am in control and have a plan. And the last thing in the morning was how I'll make space for gratitude. Today. I'll read my affirmations when reminders pop up, because I started setting reminders on my phone every few hours to stop and realize what I'm grateful for, and then I wrote stop and notice things, practice being present, and that's it.

Speaker 1:

The evening. I actually had trouble figuring out how to consistently fill out the evening portion. I think the morning for me was easier because I had a routine down. Me was easier because I had a routine down. I knew exactly when I could sit down and fill this out. It doesn't take very long, but at night. I'm definitely a morning person, so by the time it came to night I really didn't want to do it, but I tried. And so that night it asks good things. That happened today and I wrote 470 members in my group, because I had an active Facebook group at that point, and a haircut, because we all know how good it feels to get your hair cut. That's something I actually need to schedule today. Good reminder, okay, next question Things I did to make a positive difference today.

Speaker 1:

And I wrote, posted something that others can relate to, and then it gives you a checklist of how you felt that day. You know happy, content, hopeful, loving or scared, discouraged, neutral, insecure, blah, blah, blah. That day I checked off happy, relaxed and annoyed, but I don't know why, and a positive thought to carry me to sleep start off a new week with more exciting possibilities, and that's it. It repeats every single day. And you know what? After a while I decided I'm going to take the pressure off myself.

Speaker 1:

The evening was hard to fit into my routine and these kinds of things, whether it's this type of journal, whether it's free form journaling, whether it's meditation, anything, whatever it is, it's no good. If it adds stress to your life. It's supposed to do the opposite and so, with all these tools individually, we have to figure out how to work it into our own lives that works for us. It's not a one-size-fits-all. So eventually I gave myself a little grace and I said you know what? I'm not enjoying filling this out at night because it's a little bit stressful for me to figure out how to consistently do it. I'm just going to fill it out in the morning. And that's what I continued to do and, as I said, I was amazed at the difference that it has made in my life.

Speaker 1:

I now realize that it's not just some nonsense that someone made up and said oh good, this will sell a lot of journals or this will be some propaganda that we can go out there and talk about. I didn't look it up prior to pressing play because, as I said, I just decided that this was the topic, but I know that there is scientific research to support that gratitude practices. They do help to rewire your brain and change your outlook. So it's not just some nonsense. Now, it doesn't have to be a journal, it can be any way that you want.

Speaker 1:

I think it's easy to decide whether, maybe before you get out of bed in the morning, just think of three things that you're grateful for, although for me that doesn't work, because usually the minute I open my eyes I got to bolt to the bathroom. But you know, maybe it's when you're brushing your teeth. That's a good time. If you associate the practice with another habit, it helps Habit stacking, putting them together. So you know, oh, I'm brushing my teeth. That's when I'm going to think of three things that I'm grateful for. Or when your head hits the pillow at night before you go to sleep three good things that happened today. And you know what? If it's not three and it's one, that's fine. If it's five, there are no rules. This is all for you, but I really, really implore you to give this a try and stick with it.

Speaker 1:

So many of these practices, they're difficult in the beginning. If it's not something you're used to, it's uncomfortable, it's not just going to happen. You have to make it happen, right, because any new habit, it's easy to just forget about it or say I can't do this. But if you are really, you're listening to this podcast, right? You're listening to this podcast for a reason, and maybe this is the first time you're listening, and maybe it's not, but there is a reason why you tuned into this episode.

Speaker 1:

So if you don't have a gratitude practice, I'm asking you to start one. Try it. Give it a try and let me know if you have any problems, any questions? I am always here. You can DM me on Instagram at debbierweiss. Shoot me an email at debbie, at debbie r weiss dot com, and let me know how it's going and how you see a difference in your life. And just a little secret I wound up liking this journal. I love a journal so much that one of the things that I'm going to work on in the next six months is creating my own Sprinkle of Gratitude journal. So stay tuned. Very exciting Me. I am very grateful that you are here. Let's make it a fantastic day. Keep sprinkling and make sure to sprinkle gratitude into your life every day. I'll see you next week.

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Debbie Weiss

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