Maybe I Can® with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 140: What Really Matters In The End

• Debbie Weiss • Episode 140

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In this week’s episode of Maybe I Can, I share a perspective that hit home for me during a recent visit with my mom in Florida and a simple game of ping pong with my son.

It made me ask myself: Am I laboring toward what really matters, or am I losing perspective?

In this episode, I talk about:

  • Why perspective is everything when it comes to how we spend our time
  • How guilt keeps us tied to productivity instead of presence
  • The truth about what we remember most at the end of the day (and the end of life)
  • Why it’s okay — necessary, even — to choose memories over emails

As we step into Labor Day (or any season of busyness), I hope this episode reminds you to slow down, release the guilt, and savor the moments that truly last.

👉 Listen now, and let’s reflect together on what really matters in the end.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to the Baby I Can podcast. I'm your host, debbie Weiss, and thank you so much for joining me today. I know that your time is precious and I truly appreciate that you've chosen to share it with me. So, as I'm recording this and I don't know when you're listening, but if you're listening in real time, this is the week before Labor Day and I don't know about you.

Speaker 1:

But where the heck did the summer go? I look forward to it every year, to making new memories, and I did make some. It just really wasn't the summer that I anticipated. But then again, that reminds me. This is life, right? Sometimes we're so surprised when unexpected things happen and we really don't realize. This is really the definition of life, right? Not everything is planned out perfectly.

Speaker 1:

So I was thinking, as I do every week, what's on my heart, what's my message that I want to share with you, based on what's going on in my own life, and I can tell you that I just got back the other day from visiting my 83-year-old mother in Florida. I was there for three days and we had a very nice visit and it really reminded me of the importance of family and making memories and making time, I think for me is the biggest thing. You know, I never seem to have enough time right. We always are so busy and there's always things to do on our to-do list and when sometimes I hate to say it, but when I'm looking at my calendar and I'm thinking about, oh, when can I get down to Florida to see my mother, it's oh, and I know you're listening, mom, so I don't want to say it's a burden. Oh, and I know you're listening, mom, so I don't want to say it's a burden. But it's like oh gosh, I have to do this and I have to do this. And what about the dog? And what about all the barriers that we can create? But we can create those barriers and we can also eliminate those barriers, because it's all about how we're thinking about it. Everything to me is about perspective.

Speaker 1:

And in that time with my mom, she wanted to keep me entertained. Quote unquote you know where can we go shopping or what restaurant can we go to? And I told her I am actually super happy sitting with her in her apartment and just watching TV or playing a game, which we wound up not doing because we wound up watching TV. It was just nice to be able to sit there with her and chit chat or talk about what happened on the TV or how regular conversation comes up. It's not always about what's next, what's next, what's next. It's just about enjoying each other's company and maybe reminiscing.

Speaker 1:

And seeing who my mom is now compared to the very busy, driven, independent woman that she was, is very interesting. She's still fiercely independent and I hope that she's like that for the remainder of her life. But now she doesn't have those quote-unquote stresses of her work life. She's not looking to achieve something or produce something, like so many of us are in that season of life. Instead, she's just kind of getting to enjoy and create what she wants this chapter of her life to look like.

Speaker 1:

The hardest thing is that I live in New Jersey, my brother lives in Ohio and so do all of our kids, you know, respectively lives in the same areas, and so she's there by herself, with no family. Yes, she has friends and yes, she has things to do, but I always put myself in her place. She had me when she was 21. So I always say, okay, 20 years from now, where am I going to be? Where do I want to be? And I realized that I want to make sure that I am creating memories, not just achieving goals, whether they be business goals or financial goals or personal goals and I'm not saying that we shouldn't stride for those things I absolutely feel like we should.

Speaker 1:

But Labor Day, which represents really celebrating productivity and workers and all the contributions that all of us have made to society, I think it's also a great reminder of what's really important. Do we measure success on how hard we worked and what we achieved? I guess so, but how about we also measure success by how fully we've actually lived? Having a sprinkle of perspective also reminds us that we kind of need to zoom out and ask ourselves what is it that we're so focused on now that we can't stop and take a break to do something else that might really be more important? It's a great question to ask yourself is whatever I'm doing now, whatever I'm worried about now? Is this going to matter a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now? Am I quote unquote laboring in the direction of what really matters?

Speaker 1:

Yesterday, I of course you know being away for those few days and taking time out of my busy schedule. I had a laundry list of things that I needed to catch up on Just going through all my emails, right, I really needed to catch up on. And I had the opportunity to play ping pong with Ben, my youngest son, and it was the perfect time because, quite frankly, yogi, my dog, was not here. He was with Mary Jo, one of my team members. She was watching him while I was in Florida and you know, we hadn't gotten him picked him up yet. And the reason I'm telling you this is because the ping pong table's in the basement. If I go down the basement without Yogi, he will just keep barking and whining. So I don't do it and I really don't want to bring him down the basement, because that is the other alternative, which I have done before. But we had just we hadn't used the ping pong table in years and Ben had kind of gotten a new net and set it all up and got it together and I thought you know what? What am I doing? Those emails will wait. Recording this podcast can wait. I want to go down there and spend time with my son and, yeah, he booked me. I hate to say it because in the old days I would beat him in ping pong, but none of that mattered. We laughed, we chatted, we just had a good time. And those emails waited for me, right? No one else was deleting them, no one else was answering them. No one else was deleting them. No one else was answering them. No one else was responding to them.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's great to say yes to an experience instead of to our responsibilities, and I think that in the United States, we are so focused on drive and goals and productivity which, again, it's not a bad thing but I think, because of that, we sometimes feel guilty if we're not constantly in pursuit of those things. Right, we have to let go of the guilt. I mean, I know I'm speaking for myself. I can feel terribly guilty when I know that there's other things that I need to do and instead I take time out to do something that is not moving me in that direction. But yet, aren't those little moments, those moments that I spent watching TV and just hanging with my mom, playing ping pong with Ben, isn't that what matters most in the long run?

Speaker 1:

In the long run, I mean, wherever you are now in life, when you look back, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? I am almost positive that it's going to be some kind of memory with people that you love or loved who are no longer here. Right the day that I got to Florida was marked the ninth anniversary of when my stepfather died, and you know we reminisced about Joe and I have so many great, fun, funny memories of him that just fill me with joy. Those are the kinds of things that, when I look back on my life, those are the things I think about, those are the things that I remember and that's what matters most. And so I think on Labor Day, where we usually do right, we take off, hopefully. That's what you're doing, you're relaxing, you're spending time with friends or loved ones do it guilt-free, because really, in the end, this is what matters. In the end, no one wishes that they worked more overtime, right? They wish they had savored more sunsets, laughed a little louder and loved a little deeper.

Speaker 1:

So as we head into this Labor Day weekend and if you're not listening, and it's not Labor Day, it doesn't matter this question can be asked and should be asked of ourselves at any time Am I laboring towards the things that truly matter to me, or am I losing, or have I lost, perspective? This weekend? I hope you create at least one memory that'll outlast the holiday, whether it's a walk, a meal, a laugh, something, a choice that you'll never regret. Remember it's the small shifts in perspective add the most color to our lives. As always, I'd love to hear from you. Contact me, email me, debbie, at debbi r weisscom, dm me on Instagram, debbierweiss. And until next time, keep sprinkling those small shifts that lead to a more colorful and fulfilling life. Small shifts that lead to a more colorful and fulfilling life. Have a wonderful Labor Day. No-transcript.

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Debbie Weiss

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