Maybe I Can® with Debbie Weiss

Ep. 145: One Small Step To Momentum

• Debbie Weiss • Episode 145

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For years, I felt stuck in a cycle that never seemed to change, living the same day on repeat, caring for everyone else, and numbing myself with TV and ice cream at night.

What shifted my life wasn’t a big leap; it was taking one small step forward. In this week’s episode of the Maybe I Can® Podcast, I share how starting tiny helped me create momentum, along with practical ways you can begin too.

In this episode, I talk about:

  • Why “starting small” is the most powerful way to get unstuck
  • How habit stacking can help you actually build consistency
  • Why celebrating even the tiniest win can change your mindset

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, grieving, or simply stuck in routine, this episode is for you.

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SPEAKER_00:

Hi, and welcome back to the Maybe I Can podcast with Debbie Weiss. I'm so happy that you're here. I have been getting several emails from different people sharing where they are in their lives and their stories. And first, let me say that I really, really appreciate means so much to me that you share with me. So keep on doing it. If you have not emailed me and told me where you are, where you're stuck, where you're not stuck, how you're progressing, whatever it is that you want to share, please, please, please do so at you can email me at Debbie at DebbieRWiss.com, DM me on Instagram Debbie.org.wiss. Okay, so the people that I've heard from lately seem to have a similar theme in their message in that they're stuck. They're stuck and they just don't know how to move forward. And it could be that they're stuck because of grief, because they're grieving the loss of a loved one. And in other cases, it seems like it's just where I was way back when, thinking, okay, this is it. This is my life. I don't know what to do. So I just keep having that groundhog day, living the same day over and over again, getting out, ticking the boxes, going to work, taking care of my family, driving everyone wherever, taking care of my dad, like whatever was going on in that time in my life. And I didn't think that there was anything else. This was it. This was my life, and that's all I could do. And so I was very happy when my day would finally end. I was very happy to just plop on the couch with a half pint of ice cream and numb out to a TV show. And I'm not saying if that's you, but like, hey, I am not berating you. I was there for years. And sometimes I'm still do that, and that's okay. But it has to be the exception, or it has to be something that I purposefully want to do. And it is like today, I'm recording this on Saturday. I actually journaled this morning. I had all the things that I wanted to accomplish today, and recording this podcast is the last thing on the list, other than taking a walk with my friend. And you know what? I even wrote down there, I actually filled out my new, here's a shameless plug, my new sprinkle up gratitude journal, which I'm super excited about. So I filled it out this morning. And one of the props is one thing I will do today to bring joy into my life. And I wrote, go for a walk and watch a Hallmark movie. I wrote that. So that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But yet it's almost, I don't want to say like my reward, but it is, it's my reward because I've taken the action that I set out to take today. Versus, oh my gosh, my life is so overwhelming. I want to numb out and not think about it by eating something that tastes good and watching mindless TV. There's a difference there. And for so, so many years, oh my goodness, in so many different situations, I'm talking decades of my life. I was not in the driver's seat. Sure, I had good things happen, and then I had not good things happen, but I was not steering my own ship. I didn't have any idea how to do that. I didn't even realize, let me even go back a step further. I didn't even realize that really I wasn't doing that. Either I was doing what was expected of me, I was taking care of responsibilities, I was a people pleaser and saying yes to every volunteer opportunity that people tap me on the shoulder for. And my life got out of control and I was exhausted, I was overwhelmed. And, you know, I think deep inside I really was unhappy, even though I did have many, many things to be grateful for. So I get it if you're stuck. I so get it. Now, how'd I get unstuck? And how do you get unstuck? For me, and maybe this is you, I didn't know where I wanted my life to go. I didn't have a direction other than, you know, stay in the lane that I was in. I just had no idea. But I knew that something had to give, right? Because I knew that if I kept going on this path, I'd be that person who got to the end of their life looking back, saying, Man, it all went by so fast, and there were so many things that I wanted to do that I never got to do. And now that I'm a hundred years old, I can see all the things that I was afraid to try, that I was afraid to fail, the opportunities that I said no to because they made me uncomfortable. All the things. Now I didn't, again, I didn't know what those things were, those opportunities, those dreams. I didn't have them. I hadn't tapped into them in so long that I didn't have any. But what wound up happening to me, and if you're that person who wants something to change, you're stuck, you're grieving, you feel like you cannot get out from under. You need to just start somewhere. And for me, it was as simple as reading a self-help book that I had never read before. I had never read self-help books before, personal development books. I guess I thought they were a bunch of nonsense. I had a lot of preconceived notions. Maybe you do too. I had, you know, those were too woo-woo, those were out there. I'm much more analytical and by the book and those kinds of things. And and woo-woo just doesn't work for me. I wish I could remember what the first book I read was, but I wound up finding books by Jen, and I don't know if it's Sincero or Sincero, I don't know how she pronounces it. S-I-N-C-E-R-O. And think they start with you are a badass. And man, those books, I think there's maybe four of them, those books were great. She spoke like a regular person. She was honest. It wasn't a lot of like complicated reading with science and stuff, because that doesn't work for me. If that works for you, then this is probably not a book for you. But it made me believe, it opened my eyes just a little bit to what was possible. And after reading her story and her shift in mindset, I really thought, well, if she can do it, why can't I? I seem to have had that attitude with a lot of things in my life. I remember being so scared the first time when I had my first son. Oh my gosh, how am I going to give birth? And I just remember thinking to myself, millions, billions of other women have done it. If they've done it, so can I. And I applied this to this mindset shift. So I started with reading. And then I started listening to podcasts, personal development podcasts, motivational podcasts. Hopefully that's how you found me. And maybe you want to hear it from someone who is not a celebrity, right? Who doesn't have a billion followers. I'm a real person who was just where you were. And I did it. And I don't even want to say I did it in the past tense. I'm doing it, right? Because it's never going to end. I'm still developing. I am still figuring it out. Everything's changing and shifting, but it's exciting as I continue on my path. And that's what I want for you. So I started listening to podcasts. And then one of the podcasts that I listened to, she offered a course, and I took this online course with her. And it was really about mindset, and it was something I hadn't explored. And I got a little frustrated because I wanted her to just give me the answers. Well, just tell me what to do. I'm sure you're thinking the same thing. Well, just tell me what steps to take, and I'll take it, and then my life will change. But unfortunately, it's different for every one of us. My steps and your steps are not going to look the same. You have to figure it out for yourself. And honestly, you know, it's cliche, but the journey of self-discovery is really what it's all about, not the destination, but the journey. And by listening to this podcast, I know that you've already started this journey. So if you're like me and you have no idea where you want to go, start with something small. Start exploring. Like I said, for me, I started exploring personal development books. But you know what? Then after that, I started exploring different things. I started exploring journaling and breathwork and all the woo-woo things that I had thought were ridiculous in the past. And some were for me and some weren't for me. But each thing that I explored or tried, it was kind of exciting because I was taking a step. I was taking the smallest step in the direction of my new life. Whatever that life is, was, is gonna look like, it doesn't matter. The thing is, you don't have to have the answers. You won't have the answers, or you'll think you have the answer, and that answer will change down the line. Just get started. So maybe it's not some kind of woo-woo thing like I just described. Maybe it is re-engaging in a hobby that you love but you've let go by the wayside, or maybe it's learning something new, something that you've always been interested in. Start making a list of things that you've always wanted to do, be and have. And I've talked about that in another podcast. Those things are very helpful. When you start making those three lists, all of a sudden, you can now look at the list and say, okay, let me pick something. It could even be something big. It could be, I want to travel to Australia. That's something on my list, so I'm sharing that with you. Okay, so maybe now you can't afford to travel tour Australia or you can't leave your family for a couple months. I get it. But what's one small thing you can do? Maybe it's starting to learn something about Australia. It's a big country. Where might you want to go? Maybe you start watching videos, reading books, listening to travel blogs, like getting you all excited about it, really honing in on where you would want to go and almost starting to plan that trip. Whether you don't see it happening in your foreseeable future or not, it makes no difference. Just start and you'll get excited. And next, maybe you'll start trying to figure out well, how do I make this happen? It starts with something small. It's also easier when you're creating a new habit, whatever that habit might be, to link it to another habit. It's called habit stacking. So let's just say for me, journaling was a big thing. I made sure I journaled in the morning, and I journaled in the morning right after I ate my breakfast. So I knew I ate my breakfast and out came my journal. I was ready to go. There was no thought, there was no hesitation. And it helped to create that habit. And celebrate. Celebrate the smallest win. You know, when you start your day, whether you're filling out your gratitude journal or journaling or a planner, whatever it is, in the beginning of the day, say to yourself, what is one small step I'm going to do today? And it could be listen to a podcast. It could be smaller than that. It could be listen to five minutes of a podcast. You know, you've got to break it down. If listening to a whole podcast is too long, and some podcasts are too long, right? They're an hour and a half. You can't listen to that all in one shot. You're going to listen to 10 minutes today. And celebrate yourself. Be proud of yourself after you do that. Because you that step, no matter how small it is, I'm telling you that that's what starts the ball rolling. That creates the momentum. You know what I mean? That starts that little pebble going down a hill and gaining speed. Celebrate the win because you deserve it. Now, if you have an idea of what direction you want to go in, okay, so now you have the direction. It's just breaking it down into smaller steps and saying, okay, I want to go to point B. At point A, what are the steps I need to do to get me from A to B? And you put those steps down on paper somewhere, and you think to yourself, even when you look at step number one, that probably will be too overwhelming. Now you have to say to yourself, okay, I need to break this down even further, even further. I've given this example before with, you know, talking about weight loss and how overwhelming it is to think about changing every habit that you possibly have. Start with something small. Maybe it is you don't drink any water now, and that's something that you want to incorporate that you feel would be helpful and healthy to you, but you drink none. Do you think now you're gonna start drinking eight glasses of water and continue on that way? Very few people will ever succeed in that. It's too much. It's going from zero to a hundred in two seconds. Drink a quarter of a cup of water. You can do that. That is something you can do. And every time that you do, gosh, give yourself a gold star. I used to love, love when I was in elementary school. Remember those like gold foiled stars that they would lick and paste on your paper if you did a good job? Oh, I loved those. I had tons of them at home, playing school.

unknown:

You know what?

SPEAKER_00:

Make yourself a little chart. You know, I'm just think this as I'm talking. I think I'm gonna do this. Make yourself a little chart. And every time you do that one little thing, celebrate by giving yourself a gold star on that chart. And if you're embarrassed and you don't want someone else to see it, put it somewhere that you look every day, but other people aren't seeing. It can feel overwhelming when we don't break it down, when you're just thinking of, oh my gosh, how am I ever gonna do this? It's too much. What do you do? You do nothing. You can't let that happen. Every single day, you can do something small. And if you've been listening to me for a long time, you know the story that I actually wrote my memoir while my husband was dying, while I was taking care of him, while, you know, I'm I'm an insurance agent and I still had to worry about the office. Luckily, I have had and have wonderful team members that they take care of most of the things, but it was still a concern. And of course, my kids and all the things, and mostly my husband. And I did it. And how did I do it? Because every day I said, When am I gonna write? Whether it's gonna be for 10 minutes or 20 minutes, whether I sit in front of that computer and write three words, it makes no difference. Just the act of trying, of making a teeny bit of progress, makes all the difference. Now, before we close, I also have to share with you that finally I have in my hands the sprinkle effect card deck. And this is something that you might find useful after you read the sprinkle effect book. But if you haven't read the book yet, the cards will still work for you. In the deck, first of all, if you're watching on video, you can see that's the front, that's the back, that's the sides. It's so darn cute with all the sprinkles. It just makes me cheery just looking at it. And all of the sprinkles that are in the book, all 17 sprinkles, are in the card deck. And if you don't have the book, there is a master list in the card deck, so you can still use this. And the idea is that every day you say to yourself, What do I need more of sprinkled into my life? And you decide. You pick one of these 17 sprinkles, and when you do, each of the sprinkles has three different cards: a quote, an affirmation that you say to yourself, or write, or both, looking in the mirror, and a journal prompt that you can journal on. And so I'm gonna read you a sprinkle of action. The quote is without action, everything that came before is just a dream and a plan. The affirmation is I take small steps today that lead to big changes tomorrow. Keep reminding yourself of that. Keep saying that over and over again. And then lastly, there's a journal prompt. So just take out a blank piece of paper and answer this question. How can I create momentum today? Even if I don't feel ready. You're ready. I don't care where you are, I don't care what your excuse is, I don't care if you're sitting there saying, Well, that woman says all these things, but she doesn't know what my life is like. You're right, I don't know. But I can tell you that I have been in some very bad places in my life. I've suffered a lot just like you have. Just like we all have. That's life. But it's what we do next. And I know, regardless of your circumstances, of your age, of any excuse that you want to give me, you can do this. And just when you start, all it takes is starting. And then you know, one foot in front of the other. I would love, love again for you to share your journey with me. I'd love to know if any of this resonates with you. And my sprinkle of gratitude journal you can find on Amazon. It's not on my own store right now. And I am in the process of getting my cord deck on my store and Amazon. So if it's something that you want to learn more about, just shoot me an email and we could talk about it and I can get it to you that way as well. Alright, I can't wait to hear. Why don't you share on Instagram under debi.org.weiss, hashtag one small step, and let me know what step you made today. See you next week. And remember, keep on sprinkling.

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Debbie Weiss

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