Ep. 172: Overwhelmed? This Is How to Decide What Matters

In this episode of the Maybe I Can Podcast, I talk about something we all struggle with at different times:

How do you prioritize when everything feels important?

Because it’s not always about having nothing to do—it’s about having too much to do, and all of it feels like it matters.

I share a real example of how I recently spent hours avoiding what I actually needed to do… because I followed what felt more exciting in the moment.

And it made me realize something important:

Overwhelm isn’t a time problem—it’s an emotional one.

One of the biggest shifts?

Not everything that matters needs your attention right now.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure where to start, this episode will help you create clarity—and move forward with more focus and less stress.

🎙 Let me know in the comments:
 What’s one thing you know belongs in your “not now” list right now?

Transcript

Welcome And The Overwhelm Problem

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to the Maybe I Can podcast. I'm your host, Debbie Weiss, and thank you so much for joining me today. So, today we're going to talk about how to prioritize when everything feels important. Now, I know you know what I'm talking about because at different points in our lives, we have all felt this. I think one of the hardest things isn't about having nothing to do, it's having too many things that all feel important, right? Because we each have so many different things in our lives that we're dealing with. It could be your business or your job. It could be not that I'm talking about myself, but I think I am. Answering your emails, your chores, having to go to the supermarket, the cleaners, the pharmacy. Maybe it's prioritizing your relationships with your partner or your friends or your family. So different obligations and things like you just feel like you should be doing. Oh, that is me. I always feel like I should be doing something else. And I hate to say it, but even before I just pressed record on this podcast, I have been sitting down at my desk for three hours now. And instead of doing what I'm going to tell you to do, I did just the opposite. I went in a different direction. Why? Because that's where my heart wanted me to go instead of being focused on really what I needed to do now, today, which was record this podcast. So why does this feel so hard? I think we think that it's a time problem. I think it is actually an emotion problem. Because just like I was saying, maybe something's more important to you than something else. Like for me, right now, my children's book is really on my mind. And I have so many different buckets within that children's book list on my brain that that's where I want to focus because I'm all hopped up and excited about it now, and that's what I want to spend my time doing. I can do that, but then I just have to realize that that's what I'm prioritizing. And am I prioritizing that because I feel emotional over it? I certainly am. Some things matter to you. Children's book, for example. Some things matter to other people? Possibly going and doing the grocery shopping, I think, probably matters to my kids. I know they could be doing the grocery shopping. Ben does sometimes do it, but he's working full-time now and just learning how to manage it all. So for now, it's my deal. Some things might feel like obligations. Maybe you do feel obligated to go do something social when you don't really want to. Some things feel like opportunities. Okay, another thing, just so you know, I have this idea of something that I want to create that I think that can be helpful for you. I'm not putting it out there yet because over the past few hours, that's where my brain has gone. Now, you're not overwhelmed because you don't have time. You're overwhelmed because everything feels like it deserves your time. And it possibly does deserve your time. But we know that we can't do it all right now. So the question becomes, how do we prioritize? Because prioritizing is really about choosing, right? When you say yes to something, you're always saying no to something else. And we have to learn to do that, I think, without always second-guessing and feeling like we're disappointing people or we're missing out, or maybe that we're making the wrong decision. In my case, maybe I feel like I'm not getting to where I want to go fast enough. So I want to do everything necessary to get me there faster, as opposed to choosing other things. So instead of choosing, we try and do everything. And I don't know about you, but sometimes when you try to do everything, you do nothing or you do nothing productively, right? It could be, oh my gosh, I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. So you know what? It's just a lot easier if I just sit on the couch, watch TV, scroll through my phone, numb out mindlessly by having a snack, whatever it looks like for you. We've all been there. And sometimes that could be okay, but on a regular basis, we don't want that. So there are moments where I feel like I should be working on my business. I should be working on my children's book, I should be working on my podcast, I should be working on my insurance business, I should be working on my health, I should be working on strengthening my relationship with my friends and family. Yes, all of these things matter to me. But really, what it comes down to is what matters now. And so I am going to give you a very simple prioritization, try and say that five times fast, framework. So instead of trying to do everything all at once, I want to give you a simple way to decide what actually matters right now. So we're gonna break it down into three different lists that we're going to create. Actually, let me backtrack. I think what the first step is, is to write it all down. I've talked about this before. It's a brain dump when you're feeling overwhelmed by having too many things to do or so many competing priorities, you instead do nothing. So just getting it out of your head and onto paper definitely takes away at least that overwhelm. So whether you type a list on your computer or you handwrite it, that's the first step. Write down every single thing that you need to do. And then we're going to take that list and we're gonna split it up into three different categories. Now, next, or not now. Now are things that really demand your attention right now. Now, in order now, see in order to create this, you have to be honest with yourself. What truly, truly needs my attention today? So once you have that list, I want you to go through and look and be honest. Go through that list with that lens and ask, what truly needs my attention today? What has real consequence if I ignore it? And what aligns with my current focus? Now is not everything that matters. We're not saying that the other things on the list do not matter. It's what matters right now. So, what needs your attention today? What aligns with your current focus, and what has real consequence if you ignore it? I think that question, that last question, what has real consequence if I ignore it? Now, I think you could say that all the things on your list have consequence if you ignore it, but you have to take into account we know everything has a consequence, we know that you need to do all the things on your list because that's what they're doing there in the first place. But what's your current focus and what do you need to do right now? Okay, moving on. Next. This is where most people get stuck. It's something that's still important, it's meaningful, but it's just not urgent. Think about like fire engine red urgent. You want to do it, you need to do it, but do you really need to do it right now? Take this podcast, for example, or recording this podcast. Do I need to do it right now? Well, the bottom line is yes, I needed to record this podcast episode today because I have a deadline, and my assistant needs to take this podcast and she does a little bit of editing and she transcribes it and she does some of the things that she needs to do to get it out there in the world. And if I don't have it in on time, that means she doesn't have time to do it. So I need to get this done today because today is the last day that I have basically to get it in on time. So I don't have a choice. That's a now. The rabbit hole that I just went down with both the children's book and this other business idea, that really was not a now. And because I didn't do this exercise before hitting record and talking to you, I don't want to say I wasted time, but I wasn't clearly tapping into what I needed to prioritize. So now go back down that list and just look at something that matters, but it doesn't need your attention today. And then last but not least, not now. This is maybe the hardest one. Because it doesn't mean never, it just means not now. And I think you feel guilty about it, feel like, oh man, but I really should be doing this. Or maybe it's something that's just misaligned with your current priorities. So maybe it's I don't need to attend that party. Not now. It's not that you don't want to, it's not that you don't want to build your relationships. You do, but you have competing priorities, and that one is kind of low on your list. So that's a not now. You cannot put everything in the now column, which I think is what we want to do. You've got to go back, and if you've got too many things in the now, so separate them. Whatever is easier for you, you can either, you know, be on Word or Google Doc or however you do it and move some things around, or in your, if you're more comfortable with pen and paper, once you have that master list and you've, you know, labeled things now, not now, and next, then go and take another piece of paper and make your now next and not now lists so that you clearly have the blind in front of you. And you know what? Over the next couple of days, maybe you're gonna move things. And once you've gotten through all your nows, well, maybe you're gonna then go to your next, and maybe you're going to add new things. Of course you are, because new things are always coming up. Prioritizing, it's not about getting more done, it's about deciding what matters enough to be done now. Here's the hard part, or here's what makes this hard. When we're doing this, you're second guessing. Oh, maybe I should have put that one in the now category, not the next category. Um afraid, I'm afraid that I've I've done something wrong and it's going to cause me a problem down the line. I'm afraid if I don't prioritize going to that party, people, my friends, family, whoever are no longer going to like me. It's uncomfortable, right? It's uncomfortable because you want to possibly, well, I shouldn't say want, because some of the things you don't want to do, they are just things that you need to do. You've got to go to the bank, you've got to go to the cleaners, you've got to go to the supermarket, whatever it is. You have to do these things, even though you might not want to do them. And it is uncomfortable when you're putting something in the not now category. You're feeling like, ugh, should I really be doing this? Trying to clarify and bring clarity to this, it could be uncomfortable. It just helps to give you direction. I think, I don't know about you, when I do exercises like this, I've got like that perfectionist syndrome. Like, oh my goodness, I I've I've said this before. Even when I'm journaling, this is how it kind of all started, where I realized I was afraid of making a mistake. I was afraid of finding out I wasn't doing it right. There is no right. There is no wrong. This is just a framework. And you know what? If you put something in the wrong category, you'll realize it and you'll move it tomorrow to the correct category. Okay, so what changes when you apply this simple framework? You have much less mental clutter, you become more focused. I think you gain a sense of peace because you've got a plan, you've got a framework, you can see it all in front of you, and you have better follow-through. I mean, I've talked about this before on a daily basis, and you know what? As I'm saying this, I don't have it in front of me, but someday I've got to share with you this daily sheet that I made for myself, and I've mentioned it before. It's kind of the same idea. It really keeps me on track because on that sheet, I'm basically doing this framework, but just using different terms because each day I'm writing down my top two to four priorities that are non-negotiable that I need to get done today or now. And then I have some secondary goals. Those could be those things in my next category. And then I have a to-do list that are more things that, gee, it would be nice if I got this done today, but so often I don't, and then I move them to the next day and the next day until maybe those things now move up to my daily priority for today. So, in closing, if everything just feels overwhelming or everything feels important right now, all the things that you have to do, if they all feel important, don't try to do everything. Decide what matters now, what matters next, and what's not for right now. Your life doesn't change when you do more. It changes when you decide what truly deserves your time. And with that, I want to thank you for listening. I'm glad that you've decided that the Maybe I Can podcast deserves your time. I truly appreciate it. Make it a great week, and we'll talk next week.